Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Willie Nelson

Category: Rated G

By Alan B. Combs (and Ofelia Tabora)


English is a second language for my wife. I am proud of her in many respects but I am especially pleased with her increasing command of English. She is starting to recognize those verbal ambiguities that I love. I refer to puns, of course.

Next, you should understand that she loves Willie Nelson. Her intensive English instructors at Tulane assigned listening to Willie Nelson audiotapes because his diction is so good.

We are fortunate that Willie’s home base is here in the Austin area. There are several excellent chances to hear his music live and we seldom miss the opportunity to do so. He is coming to a local outdoor venue next month, bringing his nearly annual Farm Aid Benefit. Because it is a benefit, the ticket prices are relatively steep. Our conversation went along this line.

“There is a Willie Nelson Concert next month.”

“Buy the tickets.”

“It is an outdoor concert and it will be in September in Texas and we will not be able to sit down.”

“Buy the tickets.

“The tickets are very expensive.

“Buy the tickets.”

“What if it rains?”

“Then, we’ll just have a wet Will… Oh, oh, that’s a really bad pun, isn’t it?”

I was so proud.

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