Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


William Jefferson

Category: Rated PG

by Alan B. Combs

This shaggy is mostly mine. I can only blame certain current events which made me write it.


This is the tale of Bill, a pretty good auto mechanic. His shop was quite popular. Keeping his prices affordable, however, reduced his income below acceptable levels. Instead of raising prices, Bill decided to try moonlighting in the evenings (so to speak). The best paying job he could find was in a local circumcision ward.

Alas, the job did not work out. First, he was not able to wash all of the auto grease off his hands before he started, try as he might. Even more importantly, his skill was so lacking that he all too frequently botched the job.

This could not continue, so the clinic decided to fire him, something that he loudly resisted. “Yes,” he said, “mistakes were made, but this shouldn’t be enough to remove from my job. What are the charges?”

The answer came back, clearly you are being removed for,

“Thigh Grimes and Miss da Wieners.”

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