Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Why Regicide is Obligatory

Category: Rated G

This seasonal, but modern tale is John L. Ashman’s entry in the 2000 Bulwer-Lytton contest. The Annual Bulwer-Lytton writing contest is based upon the much stolen beginning line by Snoopy, “It was a dark and stormy night…” The contest is run each year by the Department of English at San Jose State University. The award is given to the worst lead-in to a wretched story.


It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus’s sleigh team became one member short because of a sudden illness, and when an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team so no one would take notice the missing animal, Regis, Chief of Elves, asked Santa, “Is that your vinyl Prancer?”

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