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Verbal Confusion

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This classic collection describing homophones (words that sound alike) was posted to the groaners listserv by Bill Stebbins. It was written by George E. Coon.


Verbal Confusion

Wood you believe that I didn’t no
About homophones until too daze ago?
That day in hour class in groups of for,
We had to come up with won or more.

Mary new six; enough to pass,
But my ate homophones lead the class.
Then a thought ran threw my head,
“Urn a living from homophones,” it said.

I guess I just sat and staired into space.
My hole life seamed to fall into place.
Our school’s principle happened to come buy,
And asked about the look in my I.

“Sir,” said I as bowled as could bee,
“My future roll I clearly see.”
“Sun,” said he, “move write ahead,
Set sail on your coarse, Don’t be mislead.”

I herd that gnus with grate delight.
I will study homophones both day and knight.
For weaks and months, through thick oar thin,
I’ll pursue my goal. Eye no aisle win.

—George E. Coon
The Reading Teacher, April, 1976

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