Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Two for the price of one

Category: Rated G

By Dan Dutcher with a response by Alan B. Combs


Dan Dutcher swears that he was taking a nap on a flight from Hawaii to the mainland, when he awoke and said to his companion, “I just dreamt a pun.” He then took out a sheet of paper and wrote this story.

Shortly after Sonny Bono’s untimely demise, I was having a drink with my friend, Harry, a highly respected superior court judge. He mentioned that his father had been Sonny and Cher’s chief publicist, and had stayed with Sonny after the couple’s domestic and professional breakup. He said that Sonny had been quite bitter after the split, and had instructed his dad to cut up all the existing publicity photos so that only Sonny’s picture remained. I observed that he had done remarkably well despite his humble beginnings.

“I don’t understand,” he puzzled.

I explained: “Considering the fact that … you were raised the son of a Cher cropper.”

My response was:

Let he who is with out an adequate comeback throw the first bowl of peanuts. However, I will try the following:

During the really hard times after their break up, Mr. Bono got a job wearing a day glow life jacket and serving as a shallow-water marker to warn boats. One of the strange, but little known characteristics of this phase of his career is that night never fell while he was on the job; it was clearly a day job. And, he always hoped for a reconciliation with Cher, hoping to hear those words,

“Come sit upon my knee, Sunny Bouy.”

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