Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Sailor

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This is from Gilbert Krebs and it was published on the groaners listserv.


A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 a.m. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. Upon hearing the sailor’s lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, “Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it’s the brig for you!”

The sailor picked up the broom and commenced performing his charge. As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn’t. He picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.

The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He couldn’t get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the blasted bird returned.

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor. “What in the heck have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?” barked the chief.

“Honest, chief,” came the reply, “I tossed a tern all night and couldn’t sweep a link!”

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