Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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The Parrot’s Tale

Category: alt.callahans

This is by John Vinson (aka John the Wysard) on alt.callahans. If you don’t get it, ask your significant computer geek.


John the Wysard (after greeting Snarko and his parrot) introduces the Bar to his new feathered friend of the same species. It’s a large, handsome, blue and green bird with alert eyes and a large bill (in both senses of the term).

“I just bought this handsome bird from an elderly sailor who called himself NaCl. He said he’d had another parrot that he called CaCl because it cackled a lot, but it was pretty unstable and didn’t last long, so he got this one and named it CaCl2. (Yes, they’re both old salts).”

The Wysard’s comments are briefly interrupted when a Patron celebrating something spills a handful of antique Spanish silver on the Bar to purchase drinks for All and Sundry (All, Sundry, and assorted other Patrons crowd to the bar to take advantage of this generosity). CaCl2, on seeing the coins, squawks with astonishing volume, “Awwrrrk! Pieces of nine! Pieces of nine!”

The Wysard, slightly abashed, explains to the Patrons staring in puzzlement, “Sorry… just a one-bit parroty error…”

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