Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The New House

Category: Rated PG, Shaggy Dogs, Shaggydog listserv

This was on the shaggy dog listserv. It is an original-style shaggy dog story. You are warned.


A couple were going to buy their first home. They went to a contractor, and decided to have one custom built.

Well, about 6 weeks later, they go with the contractor to inspect the finished house. They go through all the bedrooms, the kitchen, bathrooms, study, foyer, everything. Finally, they get to the east wing.

On the third floor, they notice in the bedroom a large gaping hole in the ceiling, and a matching one in the floor. When they look up, they notice that the hole continues through the attic, and right through the roof! They can see blue sky through this hole that is about 1 foot in diameter.

They go down to the second floor, having given the contractor a piece of their mind about these holes. In the library, below the previous mentioned bedroom, they see that the hole, which is in the ceiling, is equally matched by a hole in the floor, looking down into the living room of the first floor.

After telling the contractor that this is simply unacceptable, they go to the first floor. When they get to this living room, there is indeed the hole in the ceiling. In fact, there is a matching one in the floor!

Completely incensed by all this, the couple start talking of contract breach with the contractor as they go downstairs to the basement. You guessed it. There’s a hole in the ceiling which, if you look carefully through, you can see blue sky several floors above. And, well, there is also a hole matching the one above, in the floor leading to the wine cellar.

Expecting a very good explanation, the couple go to the wine cellar, and looking up, they see the holes all the way through the house. On the floor, however, is not a hole! But, where one would expect a hole, there is a single brick, laying in this circle of sunlight that has come from several floors above.

Asking the contractor for a very good explanation, he offers to fix the holes for them, and to add a pool to the yard for no charge.

They say that would be fine, but what about the *&%$!@# brick!

He simply picks up the brick, and throws it straight up, out of all the holes.

And it didn’t come down.

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  1. Cute

     /  October 31, 2010

    I’ve remembered this one from the very early days of this site. Good to see you’re still online and have embraced Web 2.0.

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