Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Medacrin

Category: Rated G

As a rule I don’t like word stretches too much, but this one is OK. The author is unknown.


Out far away in the Himalayas there was a small village that was constantly terrified by a terrible monster named the medecrin. The medicrin would come down to the village once a week and eat one of the villagers. Now, as you would guess, the population of the village decreased greatly after a few months of this, so, the chief of the village called forth the greatest hunter he could get and told him to hunt down and kill the medicrin.

After much negotiation, the hunter finally agreed to kill the medicrine. But the hunter, being smart, decided he would have to trap the monster to kill it, figuring he would get eaten if he faced it head on. So he looked in his Himalayan Monster Field Book and found that medicrins like sugar. He ordered the villagers to dig a deep hole and fill it with all the sugar in the village.

Later that week, the medicrin came down to the village. When it went after its usual meal, it saw the pit of sugar, looked at it a moment, and then went after another villager. After the medicrin left, the chief called up the great hunter, and scolded the hunter for failing, but the hunter convinced the chief to give him another chance, and the chief agreed.

The next day, the hunter looked back to his Himalayan Monster Field Book and found that medicrins like loons even more than sugar. So, the great hunter went out, caught a loon, and placed it in the pit with the sugar. Now, it turns out that loons like sugar even more than medicrins do, so the loon ate up all the sugar.

A few days later the medicrin returned on time for its villager feast. But, as it was heading for the village, the medicrin saw the pit with the loon. The medicrin immediately became hungry for loon, so it climbed down into the pit and ate the loon. As soon as it finished the loon off, it fell over, deader than a door nail.

The moral of the story?

A loon full of sugar helps the medecrin go down.

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