Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Baptist Dog

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

I received this from rosecatt. The author is unknown.


The Baptist couple felt it important to own an equally Baptist pet, so they went shopping. At the kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot.

When they asked the dog to fetch the BIBLE, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home.

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Baptist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed him off a little.

The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.

“Well”, they said, “Let’s try it out.”

Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!” Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man’s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head. In horror, they realized they had been deceived! The dog was a Pentecostal!!

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