Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski scores a perfect 40 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off with a legal-themed performance focused on Donald Trump. He lost in a cheer off after the entries.
All posts tagged Political
Punniest of Show 2017 Second Place: Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski
Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 19, 2017
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/punniest-show-2017-second-place-toby-miceli-gwiazdowski/
Punniest of Show 2017 Third Place: Annica Eagle
Annica Eagle scored 38 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off, with a healthcare themed skit on clothing. A five-way tie at 38 points was resolved in Annica’s favor via audience applause.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 19, 2017
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/punniest-show-2017-third-place-annica-eagle/
Punniest of Show 2017: Robert Ramon
Robert Ramon competes in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off. He scored 38 points with Texas-themed puns.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 17, 2017
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/punniest-show-2017-robert-ramon/
Trumpism #1
In the first of what I suspect will be many Donald Trump related posts, here’s one about cheese. Original creator is unknown.
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on February 23, 2017
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/trumpism-1/
Putin on the Ritz
This one is making the rounds. No idea what the original source is, but Richard Lederer sent it to us.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on March 11, 2015
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/putin-on-the-ritz-2/
I Could Wax On About this Pun
Dave Wallace sent this little gem in, that while not exactly timely, is wonderfully subtle. I expected it to go in a very different direction.
General: Mr. President, we have just received news that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed.
Bush Jr.: Oh God! This is horrible news! (tears up)
General: Is everything OK sir?
Bush Jr.: Just… how many… is one brazilian?… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on April 18, 2014
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/wax-pun/
What Ukraine About?
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on March 7, 2014
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/ukraine/
Stray Dogs in Massachusetts Have a Boston Flea Party
This little picture pun is making the rounds. Wish I'd seen it in July.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on September 30, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/stray-dogs-in-massachusetts-have-a-boston-flea-party/
Texas Sheriff Exam
This is from classmate Sonya. It ended up a lot sweeter than I thought it might.
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working — in a West Texas Sheriff’s Department.
After a series of … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on August 16, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/texas-sheriff-exam/
Putin on the Ritz
This series of picture puns is making the rounds.
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 24, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/putin-on-the-ritz/
Punniest of Show 3rd Place: Brian Agler
Brian Agler tied for third place with his skit about politics. He won third place alone in a measurment of applause from the audience.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 22, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/punniest-of-show-3rd-place-brian-agler/
New Commemorative Pistol
Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of members of the United States House of Representatives.
It will be named the “Congressman.”
It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on January 7, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/new-commemorative-pistol/
Al Qaeda Disbands — Unnecessary
This poliitical update is from Lowrie B. I think I would like to have the concession for the lemon creme pies to hit our politicos in the face.
WASHINGTON, D.C. —The international terror group known as Al Qaeda announced its dissolution today, saying that “our mission of destroying the American economy is now in the willing and capable hands of the U.S. Congress.”
In an official statement published on the group’s website, the current leader of Al Qaeda said that … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on December 29, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/al-qaeda-disbands-unnecessary/
Some Things Never Change
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on October 17, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/some-things-never-change/
Not a Cigar?
Dave Wallace submitted this not-exactly-timely entry saying, “The glory and wealth of the language! Or not…”
Question:
What did the FBI forensic analysts find in the pocket of Monica’s Little Blue Dress?
Answer:
A wad of bills.… Read the rest...
Posted by Brian P. Combs on June 27, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/not-a-cigar/
Shaggy Rogue
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on April 6, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-rogue/
The Dead Horse Theory
This little bit of ancient wisdom was sent to us by Shayne Gad.
The tribal wisdom of the Lakota Sioux, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
However, in government, Federal State and Local (including police, fire departments & education),Unions, large organizations and corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed:
1. Buying a bigger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on August 17, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-dead-horse-theory/
Surgeons at a Convention
This is was posted by Stan Kegel on puns@yahoogroups.com. Somehow it never seems to get old.
Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes.
The first, a Florida surgeon, says: “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded.”
The third, a California surgeon, says: “No, … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on August 16, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/surgeons-at-a-convention/
British Alerts to Terror Threats in 2011
This was forwarded by Dick Brewer. It is by John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on March 29, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/british-alerts-to-terror-threats-in-2011/
Current TSA Statistics
From bwJokes.com.
The statistics for last year from the Travel Security Administration of the Department of Homeland Security:
… Read the rest...Terrorist Plots Discovered and Thwarted (0)
Transvestites (133)
Hernias (1,485)
Cases of Hemorrhoids (3,172)
Enlarged Prostates (8,249)
Breast Implants (59,350)
Natural Blondes (3)
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 26, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/current-tsa-statistics/
TSA Slogans
Right up to the minute, these come from the groaners listserv. Take care of your cars, folks. Seriously!
Grope discounts available.
Can’t see London, can’t see France, unless we see your underpants.
If we did our job any better, we’d have to buy you dinner first.
Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
Don’t worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
Throw a few back at the airport Chili’s and you won’t even notice.… Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on November 21, 2010
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/tsa-slogans/
A Political Lexus?
A lovely old tale from Lowrie Beacham. The specific version varys according to current political inclinations.
A woman bought a new Lexus LS430, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.
The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.
Watch this! he said..Nelson! The radio replied, Ricky or Willie?
Willie! he continued…. and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.
The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-political-lexus/
Newspaper Headlines
This from the groaners listserv.
A rich newspaper owner decided to give his business to one of his three sons. He told them that he would give the paper to the one who could come up with the most sensational headline with no more than four words.
The following is what they came up with:
The first son came up with a four word headline: BUSH SUPPORTS UNLIMITED ABORTIONS!
The second son responded: AL QAEDA BECOMES CHRISTIAN!
The winner was … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 18, 2010
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/newspaper-headlines/
Halloween Groaner I
From the P.U.N.Y. listserve, a serving of witchcraft by Cynthia MacGregor.
Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the coven, so Hazel (which Hazel? You know which Hazel!) decided to cast a spell. She went down to the river and lazily threw the fishhook into the water for half an hour or so.
“What are you doing?” a passerby asked.
“Just casting, a spell,” she replied, annoyed that it wasn’t obvious. Who was this ignorant fellow anyhow? Irked, Hazel decided to … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 9, 2010
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/halloween-groaner-i/
A Cowboy Named Bud
This is from Aunt Jimmie. Thank you.
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes , RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 7, 2010
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-cowboy-named-bud/