2004 Punster of the Year.
From the groaners listserv.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend (Clynch Varnadore)
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
It had no body to dance with.
Whom did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
… Read the rest...No, they
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/halloween-riddles-part-1/
Norman Gilbert is the editor of The Pundit. He is the Punster of The Year (P.O.T.Y) for 2005-6. He was given this award at a roast in his honor at the May 2005 O. Henry PunOff. As outgoing P.O.T.Y., these were my comments.
I am really glad to be here and take a break from my other life. Especially, I am glad to be here with punsters who socialize and really enjoy each other, in this, our mutual abberation society… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/introduction-to-norman-gilbert/
THE INTERNATIONAL SAVE THE PUN FOUNDATION brings you, FOR A MEDIA RELIEF (As in press and release) the
The Ten Best?Stressed Puns of 2002 which have just been announced by Norman Gilbert, the Chairman of the Bored of this the world’s largest apocryphal society. So many entries were nominated this, the twentieth year of selection, that they had to be stored in two bins; The “MIGHT HAVE BIN” and the “HAS BIN.”
We saw the Eiffel Tower flying from Paris … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-ten-best-stressed-puns-of-2002/
A sheepish tale by Norman Gilbert.
Once upun a time on a fork in the river Rhine there was a love triangle involving a handsome young shepherd, a beautiful princess and a sheep.
Our hero was herd to say to his loved one, “I love you.” When she asked, “How much?” he replied, “All of you.”
This was over-herd by the sheep (the obtuse side of the triangle) who became so sick with jealousy that her wool turned green and … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-love-triangle/
This is from Norm Gilbert of the International Save the Pun Foundation. Bless his heart.
Ivana Trump marries Orson Bean. She then divorces him to marry His Majesty, King Oscar, then finds that royally unsuitable. She abdicates that and moves into showbiz with Louis B. Mayer. She found the lime too light and left it for her present husband, Norbert Wiener. Her mail is addressed to Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/marriage-linkage/
Norm Gilbert of the Save the Pun Foundations reported that this is one of the best stressed puns of 1997.
A cow suddenly stopped giving milk. Her udder failure could have been attributed to her sorry love life. She got a bum steer. Depressed she curdled up with a Duke Ellington CD, a bottled of plum wine and she mooed indigo.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/in-the-mood/
To be released on January 1st 2001. For more information email us atngilbert@punpunpun.com or visit us at http://www.punpunpun.com/ on the Internet.
As we continue our work to overcome ill literacy, we are delighted by the growing worldwide support for the efforts of the International Save the Pun Foundation, the world’s largest and fastest growing apocryphal society,
to increase the interest in reading by spreading the pleasure of wordplay through its … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-ten-best-stressed-puns-of-2000/
From Norman Gilbert via The International Save The Pun Foundation [www.punpunpun.com]. This is by Bob Renaud and it is pretty shaggy.
In the waning years of the second millennium after the Pan-Terran War, the remnants of humanity had divided into two classes. The Surfacers were a simple people, primarily farmers, herdsmen and nomadic traders, eking out marginal livings within the monarchies that had evolved from the rule of the strongest. Within the vast network of caverns and tunnels that had … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-matter-of-principle/
This was posted today at Norm Gilbert’s “International Save The Fun Foundation” web site: http://www.punpunpun.com.
“Bartender, got any specials today?”
“Yes, we mix Pabst Blue Ribbon and Smirnoff Vodka.”
“What do you call it?”
“Well we call it a ‘Pabst Smir’ !”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/annual-test/
The International Save the Pun Foundation has voted as
The Best Stressed Puns of the Millennium.
Sharpen your pun cells, O pun pals. Let’s get to wit:
“PUNS ARE THEIR OWN REWORDS!”
JJJ
How can I use a lighthouse, a rose trellis a windstorm and a dune in a tasteful punecdote? The answer: “HOW ABOUT A BEACON LATTICE AND TORNADO SAND RIDGE?”
JJJ
A herring who for many years swam along with a friendly whale showed up one day without … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-best-stressed-puns-of-the-millennium/
It is the eighteenth time that we announce the 10 Best Stressed Puns of the year.
Norman Gilbert, Chairman of the Bored II tells us that these puns have received the most votes by the members of the Foundation, the pun devotees (should that be devotors?) and will therefore take their place in the annals of pun history.
Is the George Washington Bridge a car-mangled spanner?
***
Orson Wells portrayed a spy, in the motion picture The Third Man. During … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-ten-best-stressed-puns-of-1998/
This from Norm Gilbert via Stan Kegel.
One of General Motor’s employees decided to get away from the picket lines and take a holiday in France. He saw that the local bank’s armoured truck was being robbed. He reached for his gun and began shooting at the robbers. Sad to report his only hit was to mortally wound Dannette’s medical examiner. headlines read, . . .
“Striker fired a shot past the gold keeper into the coroner of Dannette.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/whirled-cup/
The International Save the Pun Foundation
January 1, 1998
The nominations for the Ten Best Stressed Puns of 1997 have poured into
the post office box of the ISTPF. They have been tabulated and
counted. Much time has been spent in putting together this most
anticipated list. It is with great excitement that the Chairman of the
Bored Too, Norman Gilbert, announced, for the groaning pleasure of
the members of this, the oldest apocryphal society, the ten puns that
were … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-ten-best-stressed-puns-of-1997/