This one was submitted by Mike Franklin.
This princely story made I laaaff it did. I wouldne to rob ye of such pleasure….
Prince Charles is making a hospital visit in Scotland and goes into a ward and asks the patients how they are.
The first one replies:
… Read the rest...Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang’s my
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/stole-kilt-plaid-guilty/
Submitted by Mike Franklin.
I Just asked Siri, “Surely its not going to rain today?”
She said, “It is, and don’t call me Shirley”
It seems that I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/thats-not-important-right-now/
From Mike Franklin.
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: “Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827”. Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/you-are-dying-to-hear-this/
Mike Franklin submitted this little gem.
Does this one travel? I am not sure but I do know that…..Archaeologists dig it
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in a mixture of chocolate and hazelnuts….
….It is believed to be the Pharaoh Rocher… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-pun-taken-to-pharaoh/
Mike Franklin sent in this one that’s making the rounds.
How to tell the sex of an Ant?
Place Ant in glass of water.
If it sinks: Girl Ant
If it floats…..… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/sex-antics/
Another submission from Mike Franklin.
There is a new wine available for seniors who have problems getting up often to urinate at night —
A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.
I kid you not…
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/raisin-couldnt-achieve-grapeness/
Mike Franklin submitted three variants of this seasonal pun.
I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the sharpest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/seasons-greetings-said-salt-pepper/
Mike Franklin sent in this little adventure of our friend Ferdinand Feghoot.
On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police. There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town’s leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered herring by a falling safe.
“It’s a common enough means of death for cartoon characters,” Fenwick opined. “Every year we lose five or … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/seasonal-feghoot/
Submitted by Mike Franklin.
Three women die together in an accident
And go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says,
‘We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don’t step on the ducks!’
So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/just-duckserts/
Submitted by Mike Franklin.
This one I first remember telling over 40 years ago. It might be more readily grasped by you Brits out there…. Particularly those of a certain age…..
Once upon a time there was a tribe of monkeys living deep in the jungle. They were a happy bunch and would all work together for the good of the tribe. They had been working especially hard of late in preparation for a great feast and celebration for one … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/missing-fifth-appendage/
This little pun was submitted by Mike Frankly. It is just… awful…
I accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble tiles…I don’t know what to do.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/404-tile-found/
This one, sent in by Mike Franklin, has been making the rounds. But this version is a bit more shaggy then what I had seen.
I’ll start this one with an evil grin…
So there’s this slightly introverted high school student who has never asked a girl to a dance. It’s his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. He musters up the courage to ask one of his friends. She says yes…… Now he has … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/drinking-the-cool-aid/
Mike Franklin sent in the following little gem.
There seems to be room for all sorts of jokes here so may I suggest something seasonal?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/first-christmas-joke-2013/
I could have sworn we had a version of this ancient shaggy dog, but I couldn’t find it. So the hat tip goes to Mike Franklin’s submission.
One day, in the midst of the Amazon jungle, an explorer called Carstairs found, on a log, a very small, squishy, red creature with lots of legs. Now, Carstairs had never seen anything like this animal before, and so, taking care in case it was poisonous, he carefully put the creature into a … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dublin-my-fortune/
Another submission from Mike Franklin.
I shall keep this preamble short for I fear that great moments in history should be recalled without recourse to explanation. Relax, dear reader, for the tale I tell is one of mighty deed.
Once, in days of old when knights were bold and rode around the country saving damsels in distress there was a little man. Now I mean little not just small but really really little. He may have been the smallest fully … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-knight-to-remember/
Here’s a truly shaggy version of a classic, submitted by Mike Franklin.
The art of the Shaggy dog was passed to me by my late father so I feel I can appreciate a good one when I see it….. Well I saw it and feel the need to pass it on…. just in case it is not one that I missed whilst working through the offerings here….
With acknowledgement to Exhibit A who posted this elsewhere I bring you … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/nate-reprised/