All posts tagged Jim Ryan

Unfortunately Named Websites

Another contribution from Jim Ryan.

All of these are legitimate companies that didn’t spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear …. and be misread.

These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? … Read the rest...

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by on March 28, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Puns, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Puppy
Tagged ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on March 28, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/unfortunately-named-websites/

The Movie Epic

This version was posted on the ShaggyDog listserv. It features Steven Spielberg, but it is much older than that. I first heard it in high school about a Cecil B. DeMille epic movie — with Charlton Heston, of course.

Steven Spielberg was filming his latest movie in the heart of the Amazon rain forest.

The costs involved in transporting tons of movie making equipment into the heart of the jungle were enormous. He literally had a cast of thousands to … Read the rest...

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by on March 28, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G, Shaggy Dogs, Shaggydog listserv
Tagged ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on March 28, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-movie-epic/

While Once in Pisa

Jim Ryan, the one to whom puns happen, sends us this.

I was walking with a group from our hotel to a cave where a banquet was being held. All of us had a reasonable background in mathematics. While we were walking we passed a large statue of a standing man who had a quite dour expression. The base of the statue had just a single word, the man’s surname. “Look!” I blurted out, “It’s the real Fibonacci, serious!”

And … Read the rest...

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by on May 5, 2007  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
Tagged ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on May 5, 2007

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/while-once-in-pisa/

Julia Child Tale

Me? I make ’em up. To Jim Ryan they always happen. And he has a good memory.

Quite some time back, it was in the sixties, I was watching one of Julia Child’s cooking shows on television. One of the items to be made that day was Swedish dill bread. At the appropriate point in the program Julia placed her hands into the large bowl and uttered in that voice Julia was famous for….

….”and for our next step we … Read the rest...

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by on May 5, 2007  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated PG-13
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Posted by Alan B. Combs on May 5, 2007

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/julia-child-tale/

The Very Light-Haired Person and the Jigsaw Puzzle

Jim Ryan sent this take on the continuing problem with certain light-haired folks.

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She … Read the rest...

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by on July 7, 2006  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
Tagged , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on July 7, 2006

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-very-light-haired-person-and-the-jigsaw-puzzle/

Post Turtle — Texas Philosophy

I had not heard this where I grew up, but I have heard it a few times lately. This version is from Jim Ryan. Thanks to him (and the others).

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his elevation to the White … Read the rest...

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by on July 7, 2006  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated PG-13
Tagged , , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on July 7, 2006

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/post-turtle-texas-philosophy/

Another from New Hampshire…

Jim Ryan, to whom these puns always seem to happen, sends this.

Where we lived in Brookline, a small town of just a couple hundred persons about 15 miles west of Nashua, just before you came into the village itself, coming from the Nashua side, the road made a quite sharp turn. Just beyond the turn was the garage where the town’s police car was kept. There was apparent concern that when the police car zoomed from the garage that … Read the rest...

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by on July 2, 2006  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
Tagged ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on July 2, 2006

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/another-from-new-hampshire/

From the Mouths of Babes

Jim Ryan gives us another of those true incidents that seem to happen frequently to him — that, or he has a good memory.

I was in the waiting room of the office of a doctor who specialized in intestinal bypass surgeries. Also in the waiting room was an exceedingly overweight lady who was accompanied by a child of perhaps six years, a little girl. After I had been there a bit the child came over to me and pronounced … Read the rest...

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by on November 6, 2005  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
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Posted by Alan B. Combs on November 6, 2005

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/from-the-mouths-of-babes/

Another South Jersey Story

This is by Jim Ryan who has more punish adventures than most folks I know. He says, “I can’t remember if I mentioned this one to you, and, yes, it is true!”

I was sitting in a booth at a diner in Mullica Hill, New Jersey enjoying my favorite, blackened salmon. A fellow was sitting in the booth across the aisle from me. The waitress was bringing him his order, holding the tray up over her shoulder, when she tripped. … Read the rest...

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by on May 31, 2005  •  Permalink
Posted in Rated G
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Posted by Alan B. Combs on May 31, 2005

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/another-south-jersey-story/

At The Dog Show

This is by Jim Ryan, the new editor of our Capitol Macintosh Group. He assures me that some of the best stories, including this one, are true.

A group of us, exhibitors of bloodhounds, were waiting our turn to enter the ring for judging. One of us was an attractive young lady anxious to show her new hound.

Just before we were called into the ring her hound jumped up and placed his paws on her chest. The unfortunate part … Read the rest...

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by on December 26, 2004  •  Permalink
Posted in Puns, Rated PG-13
Tagged , ,
Posted by Alan B. Combs on December 26, 2004

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/at-the-dog-show/