All posts tagged Jason Dias

Bathroom Improvements

By Alan B. Combs.

This tale came to mind after mishearing a conversation between Jason Epstein and Jason Dias at a restaurant after a recent O. Henry International PunOff Championships. Being a little deaf can enhance marital discord, but it does lead to puns.

“It’s time to change the bathroom tile!” she said. Actually, the time was long overdue, three decades in fact. It wasn’t that I was lazy, no not ever that. Over the years I had tried removing … Read the rest...

Dam Marketplace

Colleague Tim Miller sent this to me. The author is Jason Dias.

There was a certain town famous for its marketplace that had been set up in a riverbed after the river had been dammed. The market specialized in the valuable gemstones that could be found in the levee by the few who knew where to look. It was a challenge to dig them out of the dam, but it provided a good living.

Saul, being inexperienced, wanted to gather … Read the rest...

Another PUNY Bunny

This is a recent pun cascade on PUNY by the usual suspects.

Surely, I must have stolen this from someone, but it just came to me while filing away a series of MS Word documents for the PC.

One should be titled “What’s Up.doc”.

Alan B. Combs

Surely a document of 24-carrot quality.

Bob Dvorak

My system certainly has enough Bugs in it.

Jason Dias

Uh Oh! Somebody ought to warn our brothers that the puns are about to get … Read the rest...

The Green Ping-Pong Ball

Jason Dias sent this old tale. Thank you.

John was born in 1932, the son of Jane and Marty Himmelhausen. He lived in the tiny village of Grundelsberg, North Carolina, with his twin sisters, both named Jean [they were a pair of Jeans, you see] and his brother, Jacob.

His earliest years were uneventful until his third birthday was on the horizon. His parents asked him what he would like for his birthday, and he said he wanted a green … Read the rest...

Mounting a Peak Effort

The first part of this tale is by Bob Dvorak who posted it to the PUNY listserv. Jason Dias’ response is the second part. Chris Cole’s response is the third part.

Jerry and Cassie McCoy had brought the kids on vacation to Colorado. One of the anticipated highlights was climbing the 14,000-foot-plus Pike’s Peak by automobile.

Unfortunately, somewhere around the 11,000-foot marker, their car began to struggle. The engine definitely sounded strained, and was beginning to misfire occasionally. Jerry despondently … Read the rest...

Sometimes I’m a Wigwam, Sometimes I’m a Tepee

This excellent and seasonal tale is by Jason Dias. It was posted to the PUNY listserv.

Ex-presidential candidate Bob Dole was at the Renaissance festival, when he saw a vendor selling very cute period tents. They were both charming and historically accurate. Ignoring the prominent `sold’ sign, he promised the vendor twice the original sale price for them.

“Sorry,” said the vendor. “I’ve already sold them to those teenagers over there. The ones dressed all in black with the scary … Read the rest...

Naming the Girl

Jason Dias sent this one to us with the message, “This is a very, very old one I found in a joke book when I was 12 (I’ll just let you speculate on how long ago that was). Oddly, it seems to be missing from the archives.”

Jane and John couldn’t decided on a name for their newborn baby girl. They’d narrowed it down: John liked Cohen, and Jane liked Carmen, but they couldn’t break the dealock. So, they decided … Read the rest...


by Alan B. Combs. After posting this on PUNY (Punsters United Nearly Yearly), the following cascade resulted. I wrote the first version of this tale nearly twenty years ago.

Not that I can do it, but I routinely skim the medical literature to try to keep up professionally. Several years back, I came across an article in the New England Journal of Medicine called “Salmonellosis associated with marijuana: a multistate outbreak traced by plasmid fingerprinting”, (New England Journal of Medicine … Read the rest...

Starring Auntie Em as the Good Witch, Glinda

This was a recent pun cascade on the PUNY listserv.

It can be very difficult, when asked to write a story or a play, to not base any characters on people you already know. When you are a teenager, more often than not this means that your family members play some part in the part in your play, whether you intend them to or not.

This was just the case for Dorothy. Her drama class had written plays the year … Read the rest...


This was sent to us by Jason Dias who says it is ancient. Thanks, Jason.

The bears, having toiled all day in the coal mines, went to their favorite pub for a pinter. They propped their tools up outside the door as they went in. But, when they were ready to return home for the night, they found their tools had been stolen.

The bartender, hearing noises of consternation, poked his head outside. Surveying the situation, he said, “Today’s the … Read the rest...

Who’s on First?

This is by Jason Dias.

Abbott and Costello owe their famous bit to a story Lou heard concerning one of his ancestors. Hans Costello was the head priest at a nunnery in Denmark. Each year, the nunnery held a talent show as a way to keep the nuns amused (it was very boring in the Denmark countryside in 1650).

Well, to make a long story longer, Hans was discussing the order of the performances with the propmaster, Fabio. Of course, … Read the rest...

The Danger in Mending Fences

This is by Jason Dias.

He was digging holes along the fenceline prior to setting up the fence when the pig broke loose from the sty and knocked him down. The pig snorted and snuffled around the man for a few seconds, then ran off into the countryside.

Well, he wasn’t very happy with this state of affairs. He went into the farmhouse, picked up the farmer’s rifle, and shot the farmer dead.

Hours later, after a long and drawn-out … Read the rest...