January 1, 2023 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/january-1-2023-pun-of-the-day/
December 24, 2022 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/december-24-2022-pun-of-the-day/
December 23, 2022 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/december-23-2022-pun-of-the-day/
December 22, 2022 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/december-22-2022-pun-of-the-day/
December 19, 2022 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/december-19-2022-pun-of-the-day/
December 15, 2022 Pun of the Day
… https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/december-15-2022-pun-of-the-day/
Star Wars Derived?
It was a hot summer’s day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard his boat, patriotically named the “Fourth of July.” He was waiting for his friend, Opie, to arrive so they could go for a cruise.
Opie was late, unfortunately, because he had to pick up his wife from her appointment with the obstetrician. Her examinations were cheap because the doctor, a fellow named Juan, was Opie’s cousin. Anyway, the appointment went over time, and … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/star-wars-derived/
Season’s Greetings, said the Salt to the Pepper
Mike Franklin submitted three variants of this seasonal pun.
I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the sharpest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/seasons-greetings-said-salt-pepper/
A Seasonal Feghoot
Mike Franklin sent in this little adventure of our friend Ferdinand Feghoot.
On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police. There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town’s leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered herring by a falling safe.
“It’s a common enough means of death for cartoon characters,” Fenwick opined. “Every year we lose five or … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/seasonal-feghoot/
People Afraid of Saint Nick are Claustrophobic
This seasonal, somewhat shaggy submission is from Joe Blake, who says:
“A very new pun. Not sure if the rest of the world knows who Lara Bingle is, but remember Google is your friend.”
Super model, Lara Bingle, decided that she was going to introduce her new range of beauty and hygiene gel products with a super Christmas promo. For one week people would be able to attempt, in one of the upmarket trendmarkets, to guess how much a huge … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/people-afraid-saint-nick-claustrophobic/
First Christmas Joke 2013?
Mike Franklin sent in the following little gem.
There seems to be room for all sorts of jokes here so may I suggest something seasonal?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
‘In honor of this holy season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/first-christmas-joke-2013/
Don’t Shoot! I’m Unarmed!
David Asher submitted this little Halloween story, and I took forever to send it out. Sorry David!
This story developed as I was thinking about Halloween.
Did you know there was a fierce battle right near here (Sierra Vista Arizona) many years ago when the Buffalo soldiers fought against Cochise Indians? And it was Lance Cpl Armstrong that was said that won the battle for the soldiers. You see the soldiers and the Indians saw each other and were getting … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dont-shoot-im-unarmed/
A Ham Fisted Pun
Joe Blake submitted this Christmas story.
A farmer walked into his local doctor’s surgery to seek treatment for some rather nasty gashes around his legs. The doctor asked the man what had happened.
“Well, doc,” he says, “Christmas is coming up, and a few months ago my wife and I selected a piglet for us to fatten up for Christmas dinner, and I’ve been given that young fellow special rations to get him into proper shape, and I was just … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-ham-fisted-pun/
Shaggy Pizza
Dave Wallace submitted this short little Christmas gem.
Q: What was Good King Wenceslas’s favourite pizza?
A: Deep pan, crisp and even.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-pizza/
Christmas Unnerving
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/christmas-unnerving/
Mother Quotes
These are from Stan Kegel on Yahoo puns.
– PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
– MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”
– MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
– HUMPTY DUMPTY’S … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/mother-quotes/
Helping Men Survive Valentine’s Day
More helpful advice from Stan Kegel.
Men often have a difficult time figuring out what to do on Valentine’s Day — and if they expect to get any …uh, make the women in their lives happy, they need to know the basics. Here it is, guys, hours before you need it — that’s plenty of time.
Step One: Remember. The minimum requirement is to let the woman know you care. The least expensive way is to look at her — … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/helping-men-survive-valentines-day/
If You Carrot All For Me
This nutritious Valentine comes from Stan Kegel.
IF YOU CARROT ALL FOR ME
Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You’re such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?
You’ve been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We’d make a perfect Pear.
Now, something’s sure to Turnip,
To prove you can’t be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let’s let our Tulips meet.
… Read the rest...Don’t Squash my
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/if-you-carrot-all-for-me/
Shaggy Christmas Down Under
This merry little gem was submitted to us by Dave Wallace.
Lara Bingle (an Australian fashion model) invited Michael Clarke (captain of the Australian cricket team, and Lara’s former fiance) around for Christmas dinner a few short years ago. She didn’t claim to be a good cook, but wanted to serve a home-made meal for him. Actually, she admits to being a lousy cook.
Michael found a very dense object on his plate which was a kind of radioactive green. … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-christmas-down-under/
Something in My Stocking
This came to me while I was waiting for her to do her shopping. By Alan B. Combs
My wife went shopping for Christmas at one of our local chain department stores. I can’t say I’ve really been a good boy. I can’t even say I’ve tried very hard. Thus, I am pretty much assured of getting Kohl’s in my stocking.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/something-in-my-stocking/
A Holiday Warning
These words of wisdom come from Bill Pardue.
I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.
As you well know, some of us (not me) have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many bubbles and some rather nice chardonnay.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-holiday-warning/
A King Size Bed
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-king-size-bed/
The Thanksgiving Turkey
Stan Kegel sent this seasonal contribution.
The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom;
Then splattered all over the kitchen
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor;
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there’d never been turkey before.
It blanketed every … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-thanksgiving-turkey/
Shaggy Lentils
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on February 27, 2008.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-lentils/
Rules — Christmas Cookies and Calories
A seasonal posting from the groaners listserv.
Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you’re making your Christmas cookies and needs … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/rules-christmas-cookies-and-calories/