This one was submitted by James E. Austin.
Back in the middle ages there was a guy that had a parlor trick..He would ask his friends to write down a year in the future on a piece of paper while he was blindfolded. He would then sniff the paper, sniff the ink and sniff the hand of the writer and then make a prediction of what would happen in the future year. He kept a record of all of these … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/collect-underpants-prophet/
Apple’s digital assistant Siri has an army of writers working to develop answers to questions common and uncommon. On occasion, the answer has a nifty little pun.
This little Holocaust pun is both inappropriate and funny.
2014/01/14: As I come across more of these Siri puns, I’ll probably add them on here.
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/siri-puns/
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/buzz-off/
Here’s the first round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. Grab some popcorn, because it runs for almost seventy minutes of puns!
Topics included:
– Space Travel
– Toys
– Candy, no Desserts
– Metal
– Photography
– Disney
– World War II
– Bread
– Mythology
– Headwear
– Chemistry
– Flowers
– Geology
– Hair, no Products
– Glassware
– Olympics… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/punslingers-round-one-video/
These are from Stan Kegel on Yahoo puns.
– PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
– MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”
– MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
– HUMPTY DUMPTY’S … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/mother-quotes/
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-bomb/
This is by Dr. Jake Katz.
Tell me, O twins from the land of Odysseus and Onassis, of Agnew and Apollo, O inheritors of the roles of Castor and Polydeuces: have you heard the story of how, through trickery, the Achaeans were able to pass through the impregnable walls of Ilium and bring low the Trojan defenders? Listen, then; and may I push your heads just a bit closer to the water’s surface, slightly below perhaps? No?
Well, in any … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-trojan-horse/
xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe. Sometimes he includes puns that are usually of a mathematical and/or scientific nature.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed by xkcd under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Generic Licence.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/bring-me-some-shaggy-newtons-v/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on October 9, 2009.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-beagle/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on May 31, 2008.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/prefectly-shaggy/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on June 21, 2007.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/rock-the-cascabel/
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on February 27, 2006.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-greek/
From Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv.
In 1873, a team of German explorers and their three dogs decided to penetrate the heart of the South American jungle. After twelve years, they had set up a fort in an Incan town, the centerpiece of which was a large idol with a huge ruby for an eye.
The German church had sent out their best man, Friar Wilhelm Werks three times to check on the progress of the fort, and each … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-incan-idol/
By Bob Dvorak.
The Village Historical Society in the little Connecticut town presented a special exhibition the week of the 27th. A room in the library was set aside for “Ships in Bottles” constructed by Jim Whitson’s great-great-grandfather from around 1855 to 1890.
“You’ll note,” said old Mr. Tenton, the local historian (and probably the most knowledgeable resource on the topic in the entire state), “that in many of the bottles there are two ships. Tobias Whitson had more than … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/ship-in-a-bottle/
xkcd is a webcomic by Randall Munroe. Sometimes he includes puns that are usually of a mathematical and/or scientific nature.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed by xkcd under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Generic Licence.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/shaggy-fuel/
This is a pun by Ralph D. Jeffords. Thank you, Sir.
It was early one summer that the Royal Bell Ringers were about to prepare for the annual ringing of the bells at Canterbury Cathedral. In celebration of the event Queen Elizabeth I arranged that each person involved be adorned with a celebratory crown made of flowers, twigs and the local cherries that were just now in season.
About this same time, her imprisoned cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, was … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/queen-elizabeth-i/
This is from the groaners listserv. I have seen various versions of the tale, but no others are in the collection.
A long time ago when America was being settled, a group of people headed west in a wagon train from the east coast.
The wagon train leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-wagon-train/
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/how-yuma-arizona-got-its-name/
This bit of history is from Bob Levi. Howell Gwin and Bob produce additional material below.
Few remember that the brilliant mathematician and Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein, married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. Einstein stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.
This postulation became known as … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/albert-einstein/
By Alan B. Combs. This was my entry in a morning P.U.N.Y. riddle contest. It took about ten minutes for Cynthia MacGregor to answer the riddle.
We all remember the Iliad and the tale of the Face that Launched a Thousand Ships. I am sorry to report, however, that the version history tells us just does not describe the reality. In fact, the lady in question was extraordinarily ugly. She could more truly be characterized as having the Face that … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/another-homer-run/
Sue Lemcke sent this to us. Thanks, Sue.
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus, the pawnbroker, to get a loan.
Crosus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.”
“But I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested. Don’t you know who I am? I … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/look-on-my-works/
For your enlightenment and amazement, here is the tale about the natural history of the Ono Bird.
The ono bird is a species that has only been found on a few of the islands way out in the southwest Pacific. It’s a very large marine bird that’s a distant cousin of the albatross. Like the latter, it has a wingspan that can go over three meters.
The albatross, by the way, is nicknamed the “gooney bird” because it’s very clumsy … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-ono-bird-an-adult-theme-shaggy-bird/
Mel Lett sent us this little morality play.
An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies. The French admiral started complaining that, whereas, Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English.
He then asked: “Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences, rather than … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/speak-only-english/
Another timely tale, this one has been around for several years. The author is not known.
Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/may-fifth-this-day-in-history/
By Alan B. Combs
As many of you may remember, we visited New Orleans last week just before the hurricane. While we were there, we indulged our interest in history at that wonderfully fated city. the port leading to the vast territories of the Louisiana Purchase. We learned that Thomas Jefferson was behind the movement to explore this territory, but the true story of how it happened is not told in the histories, and the actual explorers did not get … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-journey-of-historical-proportions/
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