All posts tagged Dick Brewer

A Great Irish Toast

This was sent to me a few years ago by Dick Brewer.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, John, what was your toast?”

John Said, “Here’s to spending the rest … Read the rest...

Truths For Mature Humans

Random Thoughts from Dick Brewer.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was … Read the rest...

Senior Wedding

From my old friend, Dick Brewer.

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers: “Yes.”

Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course, we do.”

Jacob: … Read the rest...

Rear-Ended at the Stop Light

Dick Brewer sent this particular tale.

This morning, I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held and I rear-ended a car at a stop light because I was not really paying attention.

I had hot coffee in my lap and I was running late. “Great, just great”, I muttered.

The driver opened his door……..leaned out of his car and stared at me.

He was a dwarf.

He got … Read the rest...


This tale of woah comes from Dick Brewer.

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also … Read the rest...

The Good Son

This tale is very old. Dick Brewer sent me this version.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said,” I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you, both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know her … Read the rest...

Patriotic Barber

This came to me from Dick Brewer. It certainly fits the category of Original Style Shaggy Dog, and it may contain a colonel of truth.

In a small town near Washington DC, a barber opened his shop for business. A young enlisted Marine comes in to get a “high and tight”. The barber asked the young Marine about his service, and a lot of small talk takes place. After the haircut is complete, the Marine opens his wallet and the … Read the rest...