Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Category: alt.humor.puns, Rated G

This is by Glenn Gardner. It was posted on alt.humor.puns.


I received a lovely plaque with my personal monogram engraved on it. I wanted to display it in the garden, held by a small porcelain figurine. I was unable to find one that struck my fancy, but my flamboyant neighbor agreed to stand around holding the monogram, provided I would dress him up in a flashy evening gown. Can anybody here direct me to that new web site I’ve been hearing about where I can download some human “G” gnome sequins? (by GG)

(© Glenn Gardner 2000)


Chris Cole added:

Reminds me of M*A*S*H’s Klinger (with nary a sequin ever out of place!) and, on the long-ago Smothers Brothers Show (circa 1970’s), Pat Paulson as he appeared in one of their skits. Sporting a day’s growth of beard and dressed in a white fairy’s outfit that contrasted with his dark, hairy legs, Pat was lowered down on a wire above a sleeping skit player. The startled person in the bed asked who in the world he was. Pat’s deadpan answer, in his gravelly voice, was, “I’m your fairy godfather!”

It was a classic that had the audience howling.

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