Redneck Wines from Wal-Mart

Tom Vickery keeps finding these gems. Thank you. Bevjoe remembers a similar list from three years ago. Some of the alternative names are from her list.

Wal-Mart will soon have its own wine selection. Some Wal-Mart customers will be able to sample a new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wines.

The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the wines at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.

“While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart Brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a large market for inexpensive wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said, “The right name is important.””

So, here we go: The top 14 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

14. The Wrath of Grapes

13. Chateau Traileur Parc (aka Chateau Traileur Doublewide)

12. White Trashfindel

11. Big Red Gulp

10. Grape Expectortions

9. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”

8. NASCARbernet

7. Chef Boyardeaux

6. Peanut Noir (Lou Stewart says his favorite is Pinot Grungio.)

5. Chateau des Moines

4. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

3. World Championship Wriesling

2. Sams Shiraz

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine …

1. Nasti Spumante

According to company sources, the beauty of Wal-Mart Wines is that they can be served with both white meat (Possum) and red meat (Squirrel).

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