Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Pulmon Aire

Category: Rated G

By Alan B. Combs


Harvey was not a shining example to others. He played the game of life as if the cliche were true that the one who died with the most toys was the winner. Electronics, high fidelity equipment, performance automobiles, trips to exotic places, Harvey was into them all, spending his inheritance lavishly.

It could not continue forever, however, and his life finally caught up with him. On a trip to a certain country not well known for its emphasis on sanitation, Harvey contracted a long, lingering, progressive pulmonary disease. He spent his last six months coughing his lungs out.

At the funeral, everyone remarked that Harvey’s life and death provided perfect examples of conspicuous consumption.


Chris Cole responded:

Of course, it (almost, but not quite!) goes without saying that when Harvey was put in the ground, the same witty wag might be prompted to point to the casket as it was being lowered and say, “There lies a coffin fool!”

Have a healthy day!

« Previous post

Leave a Reply