Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Power of Molecular Biology

Category: Rated G

This is by Graham K. Glover who liked our shaggy dog site.


There was once a veterinarian who loved to hack gene sequences. One day he successfully grafted pieces of cantaloup DNA to the DNA of a dog zygote. The engineered zygote soon developed into a little puppy. The result was far less dramatic than one might expect. The animal was recognizably canine, if tiny and roly poly. Its fur had an overall orange tint. The vet raised the puppy to adulthood and all was generally fine, though the animal was rather small and rotund.

The veterinarian noticed that his dog was becoming lethargic and increasingly morose. Being concerned with the animal’s overall health and mental well-being, the vet tried many things to cure his dog’s apparent depression. After all, he felt guilty that its growing languishment could be the direct result of his genetic experimentation. He tried altering the animal’s diet, its exercise, and its play, but nothing seemed to help. Finally he took the dog to an animal psychiatrist.

The vet sat in the waiting room while the orange tinted dog was in with the animal counselor. Finally the door opened, and the veterinarian rose to his feet. The psychiatrist came out with the dog.

“Tell me, Doctor. What’s wrong? Is my dog going to be okay?”

“Don’t worry, Doctor. He’ll be fine. He’s just a little melon collie.”

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