Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Police Relations

Category: Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

This was sent by my old high school friend, Mel Lett. Since the parting of our ways, Mel, among other things, served as a California State Highway Patrol trooper (CHPPIE), he moved to Missouri, and he does travel through Texas to get between California and home. Being my age, he cannot be all that old, so you may decide for yourself how autobiographical the story is.


An Ex-CHP OFFICER FROM Missouri got pulled over by a TEXAS state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the OLD CHIPPIE about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the OLD CHIPPIE uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.

The OLD CHIPPIE said, “Having some problems with circle flies, there, are ya?”

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said–“Well, yeah, if that’s what they are — I never heard of circle flies”.

So the OLD CHIPPIE says, “Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, “Hey! Wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?”

The OLD CHIPPIE says, “Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass”

The trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the OLD CHIPPIE says, “Hard to fool them flies, though.”

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