Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


I Kneed You Know

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

Sent to me via my dad. Source unknown, so no credit or blame is accepted.


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I stole a kilt and had to plaid guilty…

Category: Poetry, Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This one was submitted by Mike Franklin.


This princely story made I laaaff it did. I wouldne to rob ye of such pleasure….

Prince Charles is making a hospital visit in Scotland and goes into a ward and asks the patients how they are.

The first one replies:

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang’s my

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A Mess of Food Puns

Category: Gatling Puns, Rated G

Don Allen the following cascade of food/animal puns.


A friend of mine who served in the army a long while back, told me some mess hall nicknames for meals consisting of what could be described as “mystery meat”. Have you ever tasted “poodle with noodles” or enjoyed a slice or two of “slab of lab”? It made me think, what other canine cuisine is just waiting to be discovered? You won’t see any of these on Hell’s Kitchen! Maybe on … Read the rest...

Chance Meeting on an Airplane

Category: Adult Theme

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.

Nervous, but eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business or vacation?”

She turned, smiled, and said, “Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago.”

He swallowed hard. Here was … Read the rest...

Punniest of Show 2017 Winner: Southpaw Jones

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Southpaw Jones gets 40 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off. He punned on pregnancy and child-birth. His tie at 40 was resolved to his favor via audience applause.

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Punniest of Show 2017 Second Place: Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Toby Miceli-Gwiazdowski scores a perfect 40 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off with a legal-themed performance focused on Donald Trump. He lost in a cheer off after the entries.

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Punniest of Show 2017 Third Place: Annica Eagle

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Annica Eagle scored 38 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off, with a healthcare themed skit on clothing. A five-way tie at 38 points was resolved in Annica’s favor via audience applause.

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Punniest of Show 2017: Jerzy Gwiazdowski

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Jerzy Gwiazdowski scores 40 points in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off with European puns. Unfortunately, he runs long and is disqualified.

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Punniest of Show 2017: Haley Haradan

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Haley Haradan and an assistent score 38 point in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off, by proposing with bird puns.

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Punniest of Show 2017: Robert Ramon

Category: Gatling Puns, Video

Robert Ramon competes in Punniest of Show at the 2017 O. Henry Pun-Off. He scored 38 points with Texas-themed puns.

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