Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Warped and Shaggy

Category: Rated G

This scientific tale is from Joe Blake.


A scientist had invented a new space drive, called a Dark Drive, because when it was initiated, the vehicle it was driving was converted into quarks, which were twisted by a powerful magnetic field, so that the stream of quarks warped into another dimension. This warping had the side effect of attracting all the photons within a relatively small radius, hence with the field of operation it got dark.

He attended a scientific … Read the rest...

Superstorm Shaggy

Category: Puns, Rated G

This timely little entry is from Dave Wallace. He says he stole it from PPrune.


I just got off the phone with a friend who lives in North Dakota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and … Read the rest...

Some Things Never Change

Category: Picture Pun, Rated PG

This timely picture pun is making the rounds.


Remains of what archaeologists believe was the first politicianRead the rest...

Don’t Let Adobe’s Lawyers See This!

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This is probably my favorite picture pun in a long time.


Adobe Photo ShopRead the rest...

Hide and Sikh

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This little picture pun is making the rounds on the internet. It’s creator is unknown.


My Next Trick Is Gonna Be SikhRead the rest...

Jim Macauley’s Bulwer-Lytton Entry

Category: Puns, Rated G

Jim Macauley sent in his rejected Bulwer-Lytton entry. I think we have better taste here than the Bulwer-Lytton judges do.


In the food preparation area of the Topkapi Palace in 15th century Istanbul, Mehmet, the master chef and author of the renowned “Dissertation on Desert Desserts,” was busy demonstrating that he could improve the flavor of most dishes with just a sheik of sultan pepper.… Read the rest...

What a Way to Go

Category: Puns@yahoogroups.com, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy, Shaggydog listserv

This has the flavor of an older tale. Stan Kegel posted it on the Puns and the Shaggy Dog Yahoogroups.


There are two guys in a bar.

One says, “Did your hear the news – Mike is dead!”

“Whoa, what the heck happened to him?” asks the other guy.

“Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn’t brake properly and boom — He hit the curb, … Read the rest...

Bulwer Lytton (Combs’ Losing Entry, 2012)

Category: Adult Theme, Puns

Once again, through what can only be gross discrimination or uncommon good taste (pun intended), this wonderful entry fell flat. Well, there’s always next year.


The thought that the world contains so many transgressors and so few reformers trying to put an end to their evil haunted the preacher as he tried to save those wretched cunnilinguists from their preferred depravity by alluding to their theological doom in his sermon, “Insinuate.”


Read the rest...

Don’t Be Shellfish

Category: Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

Some black humor (or “humour”, as he would say) from Dave Wallace.


When Mr. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening the day after he’d lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well…tell me!” he demanded.

The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some pretty good news, and some really great news. Which do … Read the rest...

Favorite Toys by Denomination

Category: Lists, Poetry, Politically Incorrect, Rated G

Thanks to Stan Kegel for this list.


Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishn:a He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican: They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox No, they were OURS first.
Lutheran: Our toys are nailed on the door.
Branch Davidians: He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism: There is no toy maker.
Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism: … Read the rest...