Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Punslingers Round One (Video)

Category: Pun Cascade, Puns, Rated PG, Video

Here’s the first round of Punslingers from last weekend’s O. Henry Pun-Off. Grab some popcorn, because it runs for almost seventy minutes of puns!

Topics included:
– Space Travel
– Toys
– Candy, no Desserts
– Metal
– Photography
– Disney
– World War II
– Bread
– Mythology
– Headwear
– Chemistry
– Flowers
– Geology
– Hair, no Products
– Glassware
– Olympics… Read the rest...

Punslingers (2013 Pun-Off) Results

Category: Rated G

The second half of the annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships is Punslingers, a head-to-head battle of puns in a single elimination format. Thirty-two competitors are narrowed down to one with varying topics.

Here are the results, with the topics in parentheses.

Round One

Mark Eells defeats Scott Seay (Space Travel)
Ben Zeik defeats Brian Agler (Toys)
Jerzy Gwiazdowski defeats Satya Manz (Candy, no Desserts)
Gracie Deegan defeats Andrew Johnson (Metal)
Andy Balinsky defeats Sean De Tore (Photography)
Diana Gruber … Read the rest...

There is a Frog in his Throat

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

John Sugg submitted this little gem.

I was weed eating my creek bank today when I startled a lime green frog off the bank into the water where it was promptly caught by a snake. I watched as that snake “swallowed that poor boy whole.” The frog emitted a defiant ribbet just as he disappeared down the snake’s gullet. Then it struck what I had just witnessed, a frog croaking.… Read the rest...

Punniest of Show 1st Place: Ben Ziek

Category: Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated PG, Video

Multi-winner in both Punniest of Show and Punslinger Ben Ziek puns on spices to score 39 points. This was a tie for first place, but he won in a poll of the audience.

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Punniest of Show 2nd Place: Alex Petri

Category: Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated G, Video

Alex Petri’s Biblical skit earned her 39 points and a tie for first place, but she lost in a poll of audience noise.

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Punniest of Show 3rd Place: Brian Agler

Category: Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated G, Video

Brian Agler tied for third place with his skit about politics. He won third place alone in a measurment of applause from the audience.

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Punniest of Show 4th Place: Andy Balinsky

Category: Gatling Puns, Puns, Rated G, Video

Andy Balinsky scored 37 points with this fabric-related skit. He was tied for the third highest points, but lost in a competition of audience noise.

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Punniest of Show (2013 Pun-Off) Results

Category: News, Rated G

The O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships was held last weekend. The first half of the competition consists of a series of prepared skits.

Thirty-one contestants were scored from 1 to 10 by six judges. The highest and the lowest scores were dropped before summing the total.

Here are the scores:

Contestant Judge 1 Judge 2 Judge 3 Judge 5 Judge 5 Judge 6 Total
Christen DiClaudio 8 6 7 7 7 9 29
Michael Kohl 9 7 7 8 8
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For Those Needing Biblical Interpretation of Current Events

Category: Puns, Rated PG

Forwarded to us by Lowrie.

For those who haven’t heard, Washington State just passed two laws about gay marriage and legalized marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:

“If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.”

We just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before.

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Equivalents — For All You Thinkers

Category: Lists, Puns, Rated G

This listing is from Mitch Friedman, and for which we thank him. (I was tempted, but I think “thinkers” is better than “nerds”.)

  1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
  2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton
  3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
  4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
  5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
  6. Time it … Read the rest...