This was found by my dear aunt on Facebook. It’s creator is unknown.
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” … Read the rest...
Proof That Men Have Better Friends
This is from Bro. Tom Vickery.
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend’s house.
The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.
The … Read the rest...
This ancient, shaggy poem is attributed to Morris Bishop, and was submitted to us by Denny Adams.
I met an elf man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf!
Sitting under a mushroom tall–
‘Twas taller than himself!
“How do you do, little elf,” I said,
“And what do you do all day?”
“I dance ‘n fwolic about,” said he,
“‘N scuttle about and play;”
“I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when
A katydid I see,
‘Katy didn’t’ I say, and … Read the rest...
Denny Adams submitted this little gem.
My favorite microwave comfort food is Marconi and cheese.… Read the rest...
This is from classmate Sonya. It ended up a lot sweeter than I thought it might.
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working — in a West Texas Sheriff’s Department.
After a series of … Read the rest...
This collection of math and science jokes was found online. Some may already be on the site, but worth sharing again.
The authors to these are unknown. By anyone, I imagine.
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. “Wow,” says the barkeep, “That’s an order of magnitude.”
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. … Read the rest...
Dennis Adams sends in this little gem.
If a fart is profane gas, then diarrhea is liquid profane.… Read the rest...
Here’s an old picture pun that never made it into the collection.
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