This chapter in the War Between the Sexes came from the groanerslistserv.

1.) FINE:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) FIVE MINUTES:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) NOTHING:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

4.) GO AHEAD:

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5.) LOUD SIGH:

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing.

(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6.) THAT’S OKAY:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) THANKS:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8.) WHATEVER:

Is a women’s way of saying, “SCREW YOU!”

9.) DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.