Readers of New York magazine were asked to invent country-song titles. Here are some of their entries.

– Ain’t No Trash In My Trailer Since The Night I Threw You Out

– You Wanted To Get Hitched, But My Heart Is Filled With Whoa

– Baked My Sweetie A Pie, But He Left With A Tart

– I Lost My Honey Bunny On A Bad Hare Day

– She Chews Tobacco, But She Didn’t Choose Me

– The Peach I Picked In Georgia Didn’t Cling To Me For Long

– Don’t Want That Floozy In My Jacuzzi

– I Found The Recipe For Heartbreak In A Cookbook On Your Shelf

– Now That We’re Miserable, I Hope You’re Happy

– It is hard to beat reality, however. Willie’s most recent song is “Roll me up and smoke me when I die”. I am such a fan.

– Dick Brewer reminds us of Kevin Fowler’s “Don’t Touch My Willie.” (And, now we are PG.)

– Michael Butterworth remembers “Take your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing you goodbye.”