Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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My Bulwer-Lytton Submission, 2005

Category: Rated PG

By Alan B. Combs. The Annual Bulwer-Lytton writing contest is based upon the much stolen beginning line by Snoopy, “It was a dark and stormy night…” The contest is run each year by the Department of English at San Jose State University. Once again my submission has “received the treatment it deserves” and won nothing this year. Shucks.


This was just the latest in a series of horrible murders by the Jack The Ripper hack-alike whose victims were chopped into barely recognizable remnants, but in this case all that remained was the left buttock from a very diminutive individual, by which the famous Crime Scene Investigator was able to show his forensic prowess by triumphantly exclaiming, “That’s no child’s left behind.”


Lowrie Beacham decided my work of art WAS rather asinine. and someone from the PUNY listserv opined it was probably a little too half-assed.

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