Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Monarchy Menarche

Category: Rated PG-13

By Alan B. Combs

It is a difficult life being the King of a small country. If I’ve said it before, it bears repeating. The demands are endless and one is never off duty. It is particularly difficult to have a private life, unless one has adequate supplies of large castles, moats, dragons, etc., all of which are expensive and hard to come by. It is even more difficult in those countries in which the Crown is more virtual than actual, and where actual power is slight.

One such king had a particularly difficult time when he found that his sexual orientation was not what popular perception thought it was or ought to be. He hid this for a while, but with the lack of privacy generally attendant upon the throne and a very active tabloid-style press, he decided that he would finally and publicly come out of the closet.

Those tabloids proclaimed the news: The King is dead! Long live the Queen!

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