Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Lordly Pun

Category: Rated G

I have tried (a lot) to sanitize this one and still retain the flavor. I received it from Mitch who should still get the credit/blame.


Moishe, the tailor, was busy at his shop one day when in walked Jesus. Jesus said he needed to be fitted for a new robe. Moishe measures Him and asks, “Well Lord, I suppose you want the same type robe I’ve made for you before?”

Jesus replies, “Yes, that will be fine, Moishe.”

Then Moishe asks, “And Jesus, I suppose you will be paying me just the same as before?”

Jesus replies, “Moishe, remember I pay you in blessings and friendship, not earthly goods.”

Moishe thinks about this for a moment, then realizing Jesus has many friends and a pretty big following, he says, “I have an idea, my Lord. Forget about paying me for the robe. Just wear it in your travels and when anyone comments on it, give them one of my cards and send them to me when they need a robe. We can be partners!”

Jesus relies, “Well that will be fine, Moishe. I am happy to be your partner. We can call your little shop MOISHE AND JESUS.”

Moishe is very pleased at this suggestion, but after thinking about the name for a few minutes, he feels a little uneasy about the “Moishe and Jesus” thing. I mean, after all, how can he put his name before that of Jesus?

Suddenly he gets an inspiration and he says excitedly, “I don’t feel very comfortable with that name for the shop, Jesus, but I think I just thought of an even better name. How about this one? We’ll put up a big sign over the door, and we’ll call it LORD & TAYLOR.”

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