Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Lemmings

Category: Rated G

This is submitted with thanks to rosecatt.


Consider the lemming. During the long Arctic winter, with little or no entertainment available on the harsh tundra, the tiny lemming does what comes naturally – he makes love! If the winter is especially severe, there are so many lemmings by Springtime that there is only one thing to do: migrate to a less populated area.

Thus, so many lemmings try to get to what they hope will be excellent new homes that they often pile up by the thousands at the edge of cliffs and plunge into the ocean, where many unfortunately perish.

A group of animal activists from the entertainment industry is embracing this tragedy as their new cause. Celebs such as Alvin the Chipmunk, The Singing Dogs (woof woof woof Jingle bells woof woof woof Jingle all the way woof woof woof), Miss Piggy, and Eddie the Jack Russell Terrier from the Frasier Show, will soon give a concert benefiting displaced or dead lemmings and their families.

So far a sponsor has not been lined up, although it is reported that the Florida and California citrus growers are vying for the venue. The working title of the extravaganza is………….

Lemming-Aid

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