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It’s the End of the World as They Know It

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This is from Randall Woodman on the groaners listserv.


When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today:

WE’RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal:

DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer:

O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Playboy:

GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft Systems Journal:

APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria’s Secret Catalog:

OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated:

GAME OVER

Wired:

THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone:

THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest:

‘BYE

Discover Magazine:

HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide:

DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady’s Home Journal:

LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW “ARMAGEDDON” DIET!

America Online:

SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

Inc. magazine:

TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft’s Web Site:

IF YOU DIDN’T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE
PATCH RAPT777.EXE.

Sun:

ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!

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