Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Haiku and the Art of Computing

Category: Haiku, Rated G

The author of this is not known.


In Japan, they are considering replacing the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules: Five Syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.


Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.


The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.


Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.


Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.


Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.


Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.


With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.


The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.


Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.


A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.


Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

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