Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Category: Rated G

This little tale is by rosecatt. Thanks, m’Dear.

When a wild giraffe gets a sore throat (which is very serious, as you can imagine) he goes instinctively to a special ‘short tree’ area of the savannah where he can munch leaves at an easier level and hang with other sick giraffes while they all recover together.

When Steven Spielberg heard about this he thought ‘What a swell movie that would make.’ So he went to Africa and spent millions in pre-production trying to make a hit movie with the story of these ailing giraffes.

But it never did quite come together for some reason, and Spielberg was very disappointed. He said to himself, “I wish I could somehow salvage this project, ’cause it’s got a terrific title'”.

The rest, as they say – is history. Sure, he made some kind of a dinosaur flick, but we never did get to see …… Giraffe-Sick Park.

Ms. Scarlett was inspired to add:

I thought that headline said SPAMSCARE. Now, that’s a really scary thought. We must get armour to protect ourselves against scary spam. As if the hams of the world weren’t enough to send us into high burn nation. So, speaking of burns, there was a big fire at the San Antonio Zoo. I would have said Sand Iego Zoo, but it’s too far away and at the beach and I would have been jealous (I can’t work when I’m jealous). Anyway, there was a big fire at the zoo. Some of the larger, hungrier animals got a hip pot of moose stew out of the deal. Ellie got a phantastic deal on chard and made a large salad. Allie brought gator ade, but Ronnie the Rhino had some trouble with the zookeepers who always make a big deal out of natural disastors. This is because everything they are involved with is man made (duh). He was going to bring tupper ware for leftovers but ended up with rhino plastic. And what’s worse is he got his nose out of joint, literally, trying to get past the zookeeper, and had to have rhinoplasty. Isn’t that nasty. Can you rhyme plasty any better than that. Better ask Rose Catt.

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