Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Ferdinand and Feckless Go Golfing

Category: Original Feghoots, Rated G

This original was submitted by Gregory Lepore. Thank you.


One day while lounging beside his sunny, suburban swimming pool, Ferdinand Feghoot received a telegram from John Smith, author of the recent best-seller -King-, a biography of Henry the Eighth. Smith was inviting Ferdinand and his son Feckless to play golf with him at a nearby country club. Knowing that Smith hated to golf and, knowing that Ferdinand hated Smith, Feghoot decided to go and ascertain what Smith’s intentions were. In the telegram Smith mentioned that the fourth member of the group would be Slugger Lang, the famous baseball player from Connecticut who was currently playing first base for the New York Yankees. Slugger hated everybody, especially Ferdinand, Feckless, and Smith.

On the day of the game Ferdinand and Feckless arrived at the course to find Slugger and Smith already there, waiting in a golf cart. Another cart was nearby for Ferdinand and Feckless.

They began their game. On the first hole, Ferdinand’s shot went wide to the right and into the woods. Slugger’s shot went wide to the left and into the trees. Smith’s shot went straight down the middle of the fairway and over a small hill. Poor Feckless’ shot went backwards. All four players went to retrieve their balls. When they returned to their carts John Smith, the famous author, was dead. The police were called, and all heads turned towards Ferdinand when he announced “I know who the killer is.” When they asked him how, he merely replied, “It’s a clear cut case of A Connecticut Yankee in King Author’s Cart”.

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