Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Crossing the Vampire, Tale Two

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated PG

This was posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv. Thanks as always, Stan (gotta be polite, he’s a judge in the coming O. Henry PunOff).


Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

“Quick, quick!” shouts Sister Marilyn. “What shall we do?”

“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,” says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“What shall I do now?” she shouts.

“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican,” says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

“Now what?” shouts Sister Marilyn?

“Show him your cross,” says Sister Helen.

“Now you’re talking,” says Sister Marilyn.

She opens the window and shouts, “Get the Hell off our car!”

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