Corporate Planning

Another venerable tale from the groaners listserv.

The Corporate Plan

From the Book of Corporate Life. Chapter 1,   verses1-15:

1. In the beginning was the Plan.

2. And then came the Assumptions.

3. And the Assumptions were without form.

4. And the Plan was without Substance.

5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, “It is a crock of  
shit and it stinks.”

7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and   said, “It is a  
crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell.”

8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, “It is a  
container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that  none may  
abide by it.”

9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel  
of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one to  
another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very  

11. And the Directors went to the Vice President, saying unto hIm, “It  
promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

12. And the Vice President went to the President, saying unto him, “It  
has very powerful effects.”

13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

14. And the Plan became Policy.

15. And that, my friends, is how shit happens.

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