This little gem was sent in by Joe Blake.
A guy wished to breed his female Cocker Spaniel so he advertised for a male to service her. After a while the phone rang and the following exchange occurred.
“Good morning. I read your advertisement and I’ve got a healthy young Spaniel. Unfortunately I don’t have any breeders papers for him.”
“Don’t worry about that. Any Cocker dude’ll do.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-pawfect-stud/
Dave Wallace submitted the following, so blame him.
That tinkling sound you hear is from my friend’s dog. She’s an on a mat a pee-er.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/hope-urine-the-mood-for-a-potty-pun/
A submission from Dean Day. The original source is unknown (by me).
Two doctors (in the financial district) go to have lunch. When they are finished, one of them offers to pick up the tab, reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a thermometer. “aw, shucks,” he says, “some investment banker must have run off with my pen”.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/15064-2/
This one was sent in by Vojislav Stojkovic. Original source is unknown.
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/just-a-couple-of-dandylions/
A friend of mine is very inclined to religious fundamentalism. Among other groups, he has been studying the Quakers, the Mennonites, and the Amish. He just cannot decide whom to join, and this has become a source of great confusion and anguish to him. Hypertension and cardiac symptoms have resulted. Finally, he heard some very helpful advice in a TV advertisement – “Ask your doctor if your heart is strong enough for sects.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/religious-fundamentalists/
Mike Franklin sent in this one that’s making the rounds.
How to tell the sex of an Ant?
Place Ant in glass of water.
If it sinks: Girl Ant
If it floats…..… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/sex-antics/
Knowledge of Premier League football will help with this submission by Dave Wallace.
Like many of us, I’m embarrassed when I can’t remember the name of a person after our initial introduction.
My local coffee shop proprietor introduced me to her new worker, Chelsea, recently.
Now, I want you to know that I have a system for remembering names by spotting some characteristic of that person and creating an association, or index as a prompt or hint to recall the … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/soccer-barely-know/
Denny Adams asked this question.
How rich do you have to be to use real poo in your hair?… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/puns-getting-hairy/
This little pun was submitted by Mike Frankly. It is just… awful…
I accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble tiles…I don’t know what to do.
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/404-tile-found/
Denny Adams sent in this martial pun.
The Israeli armed forces have developed their own form of martial arts. They call it Jew-jit-su.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/jewcy-pun/
Denny Adams sent in this tasty treat.
A Texas Bar and grill specialized in serving mountain oysters. The sign in the window said “come on in, and have a ball”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/dont-testy/
Dave Wallace sent this little gem.
NOTICE:
The activity formerly known as “69” will henceforth be called “96”. This is due to the higher cost of eating out.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/costs-inflation/
Denny Adams sent this little guy in…
After a long day of fishing, I was feeling a little frisky, but alas, my wife wasn’t interested. She said “Not tonight, Dear. I’ve got a haddock.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/pun-halibut/
Apple’s digital assistant Siri has an army of writers working to develop answers to questions common and uncommon. On occasion, the answer has a nifty little pun.
This little Holocaust pun is both inappropriate and funny.
2014/01/14: As I come across more of these Siri puns, I’ll probably add them on here.
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/siri-puns/
Another submission from the prolific Denny Adams.
Walgreens was having a sale on my favorite deodorant last week. I couldn’t find any on the shelves, so I asked the lady at the sales counter.
She said, “We have it; it’s here behind the counter. Would you like the ball type?”
I said, “No, thanks. I just want it for my underarms.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/ball/
Denny Adams submitted this quick pun.
I went to the grocery store last night, and got to the cashier. She asked, “Paper or plastic?”
I said, “Either is fine. I’m Bi-sacktual.”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/pun-truly-relish/
Denny Adams submitted this little pun.
A new massage parlor opened in Hartford Conneticut, named “King Arthurs Court”
The employees are affectionately known as The Conneticut Yankers.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/going-of-the-rails-on-a-crazy-twain/
Here’s a two-fer from Denny Adams.
There is a new mens “personal” deodorant on the market called “Umpire” It’s for foul balls.
Another one inspired by NASCAR is called “Pit Stop”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-pore-excuse-for-a-pun/
This little gem was submitted by Denny Adams.
Did you hear about the illiterate hooker, who tried to get a job in a warehouse?… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-best-little-warehouse-in-texas/
Denny Adams submitted this little gem.
My favorite microwave comfort food is Marconi and cheese.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-micro-snort/
Dennis Adams sends in this little gem.
If a fart is profane gas, then diarrhea is liquid profane.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-daffynition/
Dave Wallace asks this timeless question:
What happens when your spouse achieves immortality?
That’s unbereavable.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-pun-that-never-gets-old/
Dennis Adams sent this little guy in.
What is the primary ingredient in bagels and doughnuts?
Hole wheat flour, of course.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/flour-power/
John Sugg submitted this little gem.
I was weed eating my creek bank today when I startled a lime green frog off the bank into the water where it was promptly caught by a snake. I watched as that snake “swallowed that poor boy whole.” The frog emitted a defiant ribbet just as he disappeared down the snake’s gullet. Then it struck what I had just witnessed, a frog croaking.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/there-a-frog-in-his-throat/
This was posted by our rude punster, Myke Cooper.
A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The cow said, “I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!”
The ant said, “I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest!”
Why are you scrolling down here? It’s … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-cow-the-ant-and-the-old-fart/
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