This ia a pun cascade from P.U.N.Y.
Playboy Founder Hugh Hefner Engaged to 24-Year-Old
The 84-year-old announces his engagement to model Crystal
Harris on Twitter.
The above – seriously! – is from today’s news.
I can guess what wedding gifts they’ll exchange: She’ll give
him an Erector set, and he’ll give her a do-it-yourself kit.
Charles Wukash
A bunny thing happened on the way to the nursing home.
Gary Hallock
I thought young gal would play boy, man shun.
Chris … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/current-events-interage-marriage/
A seasonal offering from the PUNY listserv.
A yam: First person singular present of “to be” as in, “A yam very happy that everyone was able to be here tonight” (Cynthia MacGregor)
Breast: The part of the bird little kids love to ask for because they’re getting away with saying one of “those” words without getting punished for it (Cynthia MacGregor)
Brussels Sprouts: Das Kindergartners (in my best fractured pseudoFlemish) (Bob Dvorak)
Candied Yams: Descartes telling it like it is… … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-puny-thanksgiving-dictionary/
This is a pun cascade from many of the folks at P.U.N.Y.
From our vantage overlooking the Hudson at West Point, we could see, near the top of a hill on the other side, a castle [purportedly] used in the filming of The Wizard of Oz, complete with a moat. Apparently it won’t be used in future productions. It’s been demoated.
Bob Dvorak
If the castle is not being used, we should consider the ditch around it to be moot.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/west-point/
This is a recent series of puns on the PUNY listserv.
What’s a large animal that, when it walks back and forth, back and forth, and makes you very sleepy to look at it?
A hypnopotamus!
Cyn (MacGregor)
= = = = =
What greeting in a nudest camp makes you think of an animal?
A Buff Hello
Stan (Kegel)
= = = = =
Q: What does the father Buff Hello say when he drops his kid off at … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/puns-on-the-animal-kingdom/
A pun cascade perpetrated to PUNY.
The NY Times indicates that an increase in the number of vasectomies correlates with the recessions.
I guess in this economy, all of us have had to cut some things out.
Alan
I am quite distressed by the levity on this topic; it cuts me to the quick.
Joseph Harris
Male sterilization makes a vast difference for the better. If you don’t see the pun, you need to Google the subject and graze … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/signs-of-the-times/
A cascade from the limericks_n_haiku listserv with certain of the usual
suspects participating.
The Aardvark eats no leafy plants
No mushrooms and no succulents
Under bark his tongue
Gets vitamins among
A diet full of new tree ants
Guy Ben-Moshe
================
That’s aardvark but maybe you knew it
Eating ants, Oh dear me! I’d eschew it
I’d taste other critters
Who scampers and skitters
Termite be some reason to do it
GARY HALLOCK
===================================
The Aardvark loves his insect snack… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-aardvark/
Herein we report a recent pun cascade on P.U.N.Y.
Right now the U.S. Volleyball team is playing on TV. It is a pleasure to watch these daughters and sons of the beach.
Alan C
Opening this note was a net loss to me; a real dis-service.
Lowrie Beacham
Son of a beech…is that something like an acorn?
Cyn Mac
Watching women’s beach volleyball is a real thrill. No if’s sands or butts!
Gary Hallock
Rumor has it that next year, … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/volleyball-on-the-sands/
This was a pun cascade on P.U.N.Y.
The big news recently is the Iowa caucuses. Supposedly, LBJ didn’t have much use for caucuses and once said that the difference between a caucus and a cactus was the following: With a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
Charles W.
===============
I always figured a “caw-cuss” was the noise a crow makes when he’s really pissed.
Gary Hallock
===============
And the noise an angry bovine makes is a cow-cuss.
Jim Ertner… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/iowa-caucuses/
By Alan B. Combs. A nice, gentle offering went south as a PUNY cascade.
An unpopular, overly-studious, socially inept young fellow nevertheless did have one thing going for him. He never seemed to get colds or infections no matter what infectious microorganism was going around. He became the subject of several medical studies, therefore.
After much investigation, it was concluded that most pathogens had a very hard time finding their way around in the dork.
If some of those pathogens … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/disease-resistant/
by Alan B. Combs.
Unlike the celebrated cases of certain others such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, you may not be aware of their successes, but Fred Danjou and Bill Bartlett also developed a profitable enterprise in their garage. They were the first to create pear-to-pear file sharing clients.
Lowrie Beacham added, “Not only profitable; also fruitful.”
Chris Cole added:
Just goes to show that entrepreneurs should be the first to enjoy the fruit of their labors!… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/garage-enterprise/
This pun cascade was recently posted to PUNY.
A man was brought into an emergency room grasping his foot and screming that he was having chest pains. The nurse asked him “If your having chest pains why are you holding your foot?”
The man replied, “Because that’s what I dropped the chest on!”
Bradley
A well-endowed woman was brought into the emergency room with a man’s shoe firmly lodged in her cleavage.
The nurse asked her, “What happened to you?”… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/code-blew-adult-theme-pun-cascade/
This pun cascade appeared on PUNY a couple of yeas ago.
A guy bought a pair of parrots and decided to go into the parrot breeding business. He didn’t think much of the fact that both birds were named Polly, but unfortunately both birds were actually female. Thus his plans for parrot breeding hit a snag until he got the idea of cloning them. After many months of work he was eventually able to produce a half dozen fertilized eggs. … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/groaners-featuring-birds/
Bruce Noname started this cascade on the groaners listserv. It was carried on in PUNY.
A True story:
I used to work for T.I. in Houston. Once a young programmer fellow from the Bedford, England came to do some consulting. He was a nice enough guy, but very stiff and proper.
On his last day before returning to G.B., I took him to lunch at a Luby’s Cafeteria. While waiting in line, I told him that before he left Texas, … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/mepyew/
The following is a limerick cascade from the limericks and haiku listserv.
A problem seems always to hound us.
In the elevator, there to confound us.
So, how can this be?
It’s not me, you see!
Just why does that flatus surround us?
Alan B. Combs
You’ve clearly not run out of gas.
My nose knows the difference, alas.
I won’t make a comment.
I’ll try not to vomit.
I guess that I’ll just let it pass.
Cyn MacGregor
Young … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/elevator-problem/
The original tale is by Alan B. Combs. It led to a pun cascade on PUNY.
Folk-monsters are a part of the underculture in many countries. Fear of bogeymen, vampires, werewolves, dervishes, zombies, and other such unfriendly life forms (speaking loosely) is part of being human. I have recently become familiar with a fairly well-described Hispanic entity. This fearsome creature is a modern affliction, combining the very worst aspects of military helicopters with a peculiar abuse of goats. Found mostly … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/hispanic-folk-monsters/
This was a recent cascade on PUNY.
My former graduate student says that each time she visits Beijing or Shanghai, it always seems that she’s been there before. I think it’s a clear case of Asia vu.
Alan B. Combs
In his declining years our recently deceased Republican president daily attempted to regain bits of his memory by watching videotapes of his trip to China. Yogi Berra noted that it seemed like Asia vu all over Reagan.
GARY HALLOCK
I’ve … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/china-redux/
Wherein begins a pun cascade started by Bob Dvorak and other participants on the PUNY listserv.
Kathleen was a wreck. She’d just caught Jim fooling around (again) with another girl. What to do? What to do?
Making up her mind, she looked up “Witches” in the Yellow Pages and made an appointment to see Ms. Serry.
When she arrived she was even more agitated than before. Although the receptionist offered her a seat, some tea, and something to read, Kathleen … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/which-story/
The syndicated cartoonist, Lynn Johnson, produces a strip called For Better Or For Worse. A good-hearted family cartoon with occasional poignant barbs, it tells the developing story of the Patterson family. As I think about it, one of the things I enjoy most about the series is that the family matures and changes with time. It is not locked in the eternal now as are so many other strips such as “Dagwood”, in which the characters never age or … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/trying-to-lose-weight-a-tale-for-our-times/
By Alan B. Combs with a cascade of help from PUNY.
You probably saw the recent article on one of the news services where a woman stabbed her husband to death, stuffed him into a trash baggie, and threw his carcass into a convenient dumpster.
The jury decided it was a clear case of marital discard.
Bob Dvorak said, “Probably a hatchet job. We’ve all heard of ex murders.”
Gary Hallock added, ” I guess the old maid finally bagged … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/how-to-lose-two-hundred-ugly-pounds/
This is a recent pun cascade on PUNY by the usual suspects.
Surely, I must have stolen this from someone, but it just came to me while filing away a series of MS Word documents for the PC.
One should be titled “What’s Up.doc”.
Alan B. Combs
Surely a document of 24-carrot quality.
Bob Dvorak
My system certainly has enough Bugs in it.
Jason Dias
Uh Oh! Somebody ought to warn our brothers that the puns are about to get … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/another-puny-bunny/
By Alan B. Combs with an added comment cascade from usenet’s alt.callahans..
Channel surfing these days will almost inevitably bring you across a discussion of the writings of Michel Nostradamus, the famous French seer of the 16th Century, the one who many folks feel wrote amazing and accurate prophesies of the events of our times.
An example of one of his more famous quatrains (Century #2 Quatrain #24), translated from the French, is:
Beasts ferocious from hunger will swim across … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/thoughts-on-nostradamus/
by Alan B. Combs. After posting this on PUNY (Punsters United Nearly Yearly), the following cascade resulted. I wrote the first version of this tale nearly twenty years ago.
Not that I can do it, but I routinely skim the medical literature to try to keep up professionally. Several years back, I came across an article in the New England Journal of Medicine called “Salmonellosis associated with marijuana: a multistate outbreak traced by plasmid fingerprinting”, (New England Journal of Medicine … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/contamination/
This was a recent pun cascade on the PUNY listserv.
It can be very difficult, when asked to write a story or a play, to not base any characters on people you already know. When you are a teenager, more often than not this means that your family members play some part in the part in your play, whether you intend them to or not.
This was just the case for Dorothy. Her drama class had written plays the year … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/starring-auntie-em-as-the-good-witch-glinda/
This pun cascade appeared on the groaners listserv. It is by Chomi.
Clifford Clarke was a careless chap. Every hostess hated him. They feared for their precious porcelain and good furniture whenever this emulator of a china shop bull appeared. His reputation spread and eventually he became a pariah. No one would ask him to a party for fear of damage.
Then one charitable, kindly woman felt sorry for him. “C. C. can’t be all that bad,” she said. “The … Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-klutz/
This is one of Gary Hallock’s additions to a recent pun cascade in the PUNY listserv. It can stand or limp alone, as the case may be.
Speaking of perverts, I looked into my pedofile and found the story of a perverted pedicurist who would break into people’s homes and trim their nails while they were sleeping. Probably a clip toe maniac.… Read the rest...
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/categories-of-perversion/