All posts in category Current Events
Putin on the Ritz
This one is making the rounds. No idea what the original source is, but Richard Lederer sent it to us.
Posted by Brian P. Combs on March 11, 2015
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/putin-on-the-ritz-2/
Putin on the Ritz
This series of picture puns is making the rounds.
… Posted by Brian P. Combs on May 24, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/putin-on-the-ritz/
A Really Olde Rerun
A Really Olde Rerun
The current Pope served for about seven years before announcing retirement.
Last time around when the College of Cardinals selected Pope Benedict, one
of the cardinals that was in the running was Cardinal Anton Scola. The newspapers
say he’s in the running again, but has the same problem as last time — no one
thinks the Church should have a Pope Scola.
… Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on February 13, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-really-olde-rerun/
Why Lessons in Political Correctness May Be Needed for Men
Sensitivity Training For Men
This was forwarded by Lowrie B who actually deleted certain ones.
* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair; but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we’re stoning her in the morning!
* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting “pedophile!” and other names at me, just because my girlfriend … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 6, 2013
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/why-lessons-in-political-correctness-may-be-needed-for-men/
Al Qaeda Disbands — Unnecessary
This poliitical update is from Lowrie B. I think I would like to have the concession for the lemon creme pies to hit our politicos in the face.
WASHINGTON, D.C. —The international terror group known as Al Qaeda announced its dissolution today, saying that “our mission of destroying the American economy is now in the willing and capable hands of the U.S. Congress.”
In an official statement published on the group’s website, the current leader of Al Qaeda said that … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on December 29, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/al-qaeda-disbands-unnecessary/
Now that I’m Older…
Another list of wisdom from Bro Tom Vickery. He’s my age, BTW; or is it visa versa?
Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on December 20, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/now-that-im-older/
Let Me Be Your POSSLQ!
There is still lots of material in the archives. Lowrie sent this a couple of years ago. It’s an old classic that is long overdue.
The trouble with not sleeping well is the totally random thoughts that intrude. This morning at 5 am, here came POSSLQ, unbidden, from the memory vaults. All I could recall was that it stood for Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters, and had been used in the Census. Wikipedia revealed that it was the … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on April 24, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/let-me-be-your-posslq/
New Office Slang
This was posted at the pun page at yahoogrooups.com. If anyone has useful additions, let me know and I will post them.
404: Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”
Adminisphere: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 18, 2012
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/new-office-slang/
The Evolution in Teaching Math Since the 1950s
This is from Bro. Tom Vickery.
1. Teaching Math In the 1950s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In the 1960s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In the 1970s:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 26, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-evolution-in-teaching-math-since-the-1950s/
If Airlines Sold Paint
This story is at least ten years old. What it doesn’t have are the TSA grabbings and pat downs.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn’t … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on June 28, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/if-airlines-sold-paint-2/
The Land That Made Me, Me
Posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv.
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
We spread … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 7, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-land-that-made-me-me/
Ethical Behavior for Patients
From the groaners listserv. My father would have greatly appreciated this one. Thanks, Dad.
1.DO NOT EXPECT YOUR DOCTOR TO SHARE YOUR DISCOMFORT
Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him/her to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
2.BE CHEERFUL AT ALL TIMES
Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he/she can get.
3.TRY TO SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE FOR WHICH YOU ARE BEING TREATED
Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to … Read the rest...
Posted by Alan B. Combs on January 2, 2011
https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/ethical-behavior-for-patients/