Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Canine Consorts

Category: Rated G

By Ms. Charlotte Herzele and Alan B. Combs. This effort arose as a result of one of those altogether too rare face-to-face meetings we had a couple of weeks ago.


One of the abuses society inflicts upon its companion animals is a failure to have these animals neutered. One suggested explanation is the psychological phenomenon of transference. “I wouldn’t like to have THAT done to me, so I just won’t do it to my animals.”

We thought it might be possible to take profitable advantage of this mentality by going into the business of providing temporary female companions for all those horny beagles and such. Certainly, if transference works in the first example, it should work in the latter.

Charlotte did say that our female dogs would have to be young ones. When asked why, she answered, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”


Mitch Friedman responded:

So now you’re suggesting that “the world’s oldest profession” has gone to the dogs…


And Lowrie Beacham responded:

“Yes, an old male dog and a young female would be no day at the bitch, that’s for certain.”

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