A PUNY Thanksgiving Dictionary

A seasonal offering from the PUNY listserv.

A yam: First person singular present of “to be” as in, “A yam very happy that everyone was able to be here tonight” (Cynthia MacGregor)

Breast: The part of the bird little kids love to ask for because they’re getting away with saying one of “those” words without getting punished for it (Cynthia MacGregor)

Brussels Sprouts: Das Kindergartners (in my best fractured pseudoFlemish) (Bob Dvorak)

Candied Yams: Descartes telling it like it is… (Bob Dvorak)

Carving: What a hungry dyslexic has when he sees a turkey. (Gary Hallock)

Casserole: As in, “Frank casserole in the school Thanksgiving play” (Cynthia MacGregor)

Champagne: The relatives only seem to give you a headache. (Bob Dvorak)

Cranberry SOS: I ate too much! (Bob Dvorak)

Cranbury: To submerge under a pile of bright red jellied sauce (Cynthia MacGregor)

Dressing: What everyone does at the last minute, including the turkey. (Gary Hallock)

Drumsticks: What Mrs. Termite served her family on Thanksgiving. (Ken Pinkham)

Game: What the turkey was and the after dinner entertainment will be. (Gary Hallock)

Gravy: A pale black alphabet letter that comes between “U” and “W” (Cynthia MacGregor)

Gravy: How Great-great-Grampa looks more and more each year. (Gary Hallock)

Inbred: The word that explains both why your family is so large and what the stuffing is made of. (Gary Hallock)

John Alldone: The porta-potty is too full for further use (Cynthia MacGregor)

Left-overs: Food that is here today and here tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day … (Stan Kegel)

Maize: Vegetable so named by the Pilgrims because it surprised, or amaized them (Cynthia MacGregor)

Mayflower Compact: (1) What Pilgrim mothers used to powder their noses. (Ken Pinkham)

Mayflower Compact: (2) New small car Plymouth is introducing. (Ken Pinkham)

Miles Standoffish: Least sociable of the Pilgrims (Cynthia MacGregor)

Mincemeat: “Naked Boys Singing” (that’s the title of a current Off-Broadway show: the title says it all) (Bob Dvorak)

Mini-marshmallows: What there are usually too of on top of the sweet potatoes. (Gary Hallock)

Multiplication table: Where the ever-increasing gang of younguns has to sit. (Gary Hallock)

Mushroom: What you will seldom see on the thanksgiving table. (Gary Hallock)

Over the river: The abridged way to Grandma’s house. (Gary Hallock)

Pecan pie: A pie that’s furtively peerin’ at you (Cynthia MacGregor)

Pilgrim: Medication which leaves a bad aftertaste. (Stan Kegel)

Plymouth Rock: Music genre for hip Pilgrims. (Ken Pinkham)

Pocahontas: Japanese cars won in a card game (Cynthia MacGregor)

Pumpkin : Getting the latest gossip from the cousins. (Bob Dvorak)

Sauce: Origin, as in, “What is the sauce of that story?” (Cynthia MacGregor)

Stuffed Turkeys: The guys flaked out watching football while the gals clean up the mess. (Ken Pinkham)

Thanksgiving Parade: Giving thanks for help in improving one’s golf game. (Bob Dvorak)

Thigh: A lithped thad exhalathion (Cynthia MacGregor)

Threw the woods: What dad did when he got pissed off playing golf last week. (Gary Hallock)

Turkey Trots: Loose bowels resulting from too much rich holiday feasting. (Ken Pinkham)

Turkey: A country often found near its neighbor, Grease, that’s feeling a lot of heat these days now that people are beating the stuffing out of it (Cynthia MacGregor)

Walnut: Similar to a wallflower, but zanier (Cynthia MacGregor)

Yam!: The usual answer when Grandma asks, “Are y’ready to eat?” (Gary Hallock)

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