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From Whence the Nomenclature Shaggy Dog

Note: Some of these entries can be a bit on the racy side. And some should probably not be read by the more easily offended. All such posts are tagged "Adult Theme", "Politically Incorrect", or "PG-13" as appropriate.
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All posts for the month October, 2010

A Tall Ship Tale #76: Drawing A Blank

Paul DeAnguera continues the story.

Not long afterwards, Lao-tzu presented Captain Quid with his re-created “Book of Taoist Virtues.” Now the H.M.S. Legume was ready to repair the damage to history which Sir Hillary Throckmorton-Shillingsworth III had caused by burning the only copy of the book that was the foundation of Taoist philosophy.

“But how should we distribute it?” Peabody asked. The sailors scratched their heads as they pondered this question. But they got no ideas — only dandruff flakes … Read the rest...

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by Brian P. Combs on October 26, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in alt.callahans, Puns, Rated G

Tagged A Tall Ship Tale, Paul DeAnguera

Posted by Brian P. Combs on October 26, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-tall-ship-tale-76-drawing-a-blank/

Halloween Humor in a Jugular Vein*

From the groaners listserv and from the book referenced below.

We all love to travel, and vampires, too, need their rest and relaxation. So Count Dracula went on a tour of Europe.

Having not had a meal since he’d left the homeland of Transylvania, he was very glad when a town constable knocked on his hotel door and asked the count to show him his passport. It didn’t take Dracula long to grab the policemen and suck every drop of … Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 26, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Tagged Holidays, Legal, Richard Lederer

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 26, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/halloween-humor-in-a-jugular-vein/

Owl’s Well That Ends Well!

This was posted by Jerry Ulett on the groaners listserv.

One warm afternoon an owl was flying around and needed to rest so he purchased on a window sill. As luck would have it, it was the open window of a hospital where an operation was in progress and the owl got a whiff of the anesthetic, causing him to fall into the building and onto the floor.

The surgery had just ended and the doctor, hearing the sound of … Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Adult Theme, Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Shaggy Puppy

Tagged Animals, Bathroom Humor, Jerry Ulett, Medical

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/owls-well-that-ends-well/

The Octogenarian

This is from the groaners listserv.

An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

“I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one … Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Puns, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

Tagged Aging, Medical, Sex

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/the-octogenarian/

A Halloween Love Story

Published on the P.U.N.Y and the groaners listserv, this tender tale is by the incomparable punster Gary Hallock.

An ugly old minister, Hume
Too many dark peas did consume
     It killed him, that’s shown
     That’s why he’s now known
As preacher from the black legume

One night under bloody full moon
The time of the month made for woo’in
     Hume went on the prowl
     And heard his ghoul howl
And knew he cadaver real soon

Hume asked her “Would you

… Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Adult Theme, Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Limericks, P.U.N.Y. listserv, Puns

Tagged Food, Gary Hallock, Holidays, Religion

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 25, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-halloween-love-story/

Halloween Definitions

From the Gaggle of Groaners Listserve and the Yahoo pun group.

Bobbing Apples: What happens when you jog without a bra.

Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your
throat.

Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your
fridge.

Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for

… Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Lists, Puns, Rated PG

Tagged Holidays

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/halloween-definitions/

A Political Lexus?

A lovely old tale from Lowrie Beacham. The specific version varys according to current political inclinations.

A woman bought a new Lexus LS430, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

Watch this! he said..Nelson! The radio replied, Ricky or Willie?

Willie! he continued…. and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.

The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, … Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Politically Incorrect, Puns, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

Tagged Lowrie Beacham, Music, Political

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/a-political-lexus/

Teenagers Are Like Cats

From the groaners listserv.

Teenagers Are Like Cats

How so? Well, consider:

Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in

… Read the rest...

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by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010 • Permalink

Posted in Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Lists, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

Tagged Aging, Animals

Posted by Alan B. Combs on October 24, 2010

https://shaggy-dogs.briancombs.net/teenagers-are-like-cats/