All posts for the month April, 2010

The 33 1/3rd Annual O.Henry Pun-Off World Championships

When: Saturday, May 22, 2010. Festivities begin at 11am, with competition starting at noon.
Where: Brush Square Park, behind the O.Henry Museum (409 East Fifth Street, Austin, TX 78701)

The Pun-Off World Championships are a celebration of the lowest form of humor in high style. Since 1977, punsters from around the world have gathered in Brush Square Park, behind the O. Henry Museum, to razzle-dazzle upwards of a thousand onlookers with their wordplay wars.

The punsters compete in two categories: … Read the rest...

Star Wars Day next Tuesday?

By Alan B. Combs

A very dear friend reminded me that we should celebrate Star Wars Day next Tuesday.

I suggested that we might possibly do this by curling up with our favorite nookie.… Read the rest...

A Tough Choice

The author of this is unknown.

A student from Texas A&M, a student from The University of Texas, and a pig were in the hospital waiting room, each awaiting the birth of his firstborn. Suddenly, the lights went out. Fortunately, power was restored shortly thereafter and the head nurse made her way to the waiting room.

“Good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig,” she announced. “Despite the electrical outage, two healthy young boys and one healthy piglet have been … Read the rest...

The Inevitable

The announcement of the acquisition of Palm by HP reminded my friend Paul Groepler of this old tale.

An outgoing Russian premier is asked by the incoming premier for time to spend in order to ‘pick his brain’ about his skill at running the country for so long.

The outgoing premier agrees to a meeting and when the incoming premier shows up, simply hands him two envelopes numbered: 1 and 2.

He tells the incoming premier…open these in order, in … Read the rest...

A Mighty Swing

The story is ancient, and does not reflect my golf game in any way.

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker:

“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!!”

I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption.

Again the announcement, “Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S tee kindly back … Read the rest...

Blondes in the Construction Business (Two Tales)

From the groaners listserv. The second tale is ancient; older than the category of blonde jokes.

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck.

He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

“Alright. How long do you need them?”… Read the rest...

The Benefits of Arizona

This version of a nice old tale comes to us from Sonya Schali.

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is this really a good place to live?”

“It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t … Read the rest...

Tropical Storm

From Lowrie and Alan.

Tropical Storm Beryl was the third tropical storm of the 2006 Atlantic hurricane season.

Upon hearing the news, Lowrie remarked, “What??? Our coast is imberylled?!? Panic!”

I responded, “I see there is a tropical storm off the coast of the Carolinas. I guess it’s their turn in the Beryl.”… Read the rest...

Occupation Puzzle

This politically incorrect gem came from Aunt Jimmie. Indeed.

If well-endowed females work at Hooters, where do the one-legged people work?

iHop, of course.… Read the rest...

North Carolina Good Ole Boy

A venerable tale from Tom Vickery. He’s on a roll, lately.

A good ole boy from North Carolina had heard that there are many beautiful coeds in Boston, and he had heard that Harvard was located there. So, he took off and headed to Boston.

Shore ‘nuf, he met a pretty young thing at a bar in Boston and asked her, “Do you go to Harvard?”

The girl responded, “Yale.”

“Okay, DO YOU GO TO HARVARD?”… Read the rest...