All posts for the month March, 2010

Rear-Ended at the Stop Light

Dick Brewer sent this particular tale.

This morning, I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held and I rear-ended a car at a stop light because I was not really paying attention.

I had hot coffee in my lap and I was running late. “Great, just great”, I muttered.

The driver opened his door……..leaned out of his car and stared at me.

He was a dwarf.

He got … Read the rest...

The Law in a Small Town

This was sent by pharmacy bro Tom Vickery.

At a trial in a small South Carolina town, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, on the Bible, and was asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help her God.

The witness was a proper, well-dressed, elderly lady; the grandmotherly type well-spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do … Read the rest...

Standard Email Disclaimer

This global disclaimer was posted on the groaners listserv.

Please note: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word … Read the rest...

The Siamese Twins

This is a classic tale. This version was sent by Tom Vickery.

Siamese twins walk into a pub in Ontario and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barkeeper, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please”.

The barkeeper, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday yet, lads?”

“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go … Read the rest...


By Bob Dvorak

Hi, Alan —
I regret that I won’t see you this year…

But, in the meantime, during the summer season in this
part of the world, it’s fairly common to see one of
those yellow signs in front of nearly every quick-shop
advertising “Nite Crawlers”.

Since they’re often also delis-to-go, the signs often
advertise other deli-type items.

You should see the reaction I get when I ask the young
woman behind the counter if I can have … Read the rest...

The Shaggy Dog

This is one of the most famous shaggy dogs. Literally.

In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly
important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination
as fast as possible.

After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and
seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.

“I must have a horse!” he cried “The life of the King depends upon … Read the rest...

The Hardware Store

From the late, beloved Mel Lett. I am slowly moving his better material to this site.

This is why you can’t send a woman to a hardware store……….

Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife, Mary Louise, to the hardware store to get one. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on the top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob the manager to … Read the rest...

Noah in 2008

To me, this is somewhat reminiscent of the movie, “Evan Almighty.” It comes from Aunt Jimmie.

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

“Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.” He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months … Read the rest...

The Bank Robbery

Another evil little tale from Bro Tom Vickery.

A man walks in a bank, gets in line, and when it is his turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank! Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, “Did you see me rob this bank?”

The customer replies, “Yes”.

The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer’s head and BANG !!!, shoots him in the … Read the rest...

College Football Questions

This is from Shayne Gad. Yep. It’s ’bout that time again. A season or so ago, I watched Florida State and Miami work to beat each other into submission. It was one of those situations where whoever did it, one couldn’t say the best team won. About the only notable exclusions from this list are Notre Dame, and the Aggies…

(1) What does the average Michigan State player get on his SATs?


(2) What do you get when you … Read the rest...