All posts for the month November, 2001

A Mangled Tale

An original by Bob Levi.

A laundry worker operated what is called a mangle iron to press flatwork –tablecloths, draperies, sheets and pillowcases. The work was exceedingly difficult and hot so the mangle operator became disgruntled with the working conditions. She tried to get her union to have the laundry management improve conditions and give her more money, but to no avail. So she left her job one day in a fit of pique without even bothering to turn off … Read the rest...

Sven, The Lazy Yodeler

By rosecatt

Sven, a rather lazy Swiss college student, was having trouble satisfying graduation credit requirements at Alpine University.

Skipping class yet again to wander around on the lower edge of a pretty small mountain (for he had not the inclination to climb very high, as usual) he happened to hear an accomplished yodeler sending out a terrific rendition of an old Alpine Yodeling Song which went something like “Yodel-eee-ooooo delllllll-teeee-ooooo del-tee-ooooooooooo yo del-teeeeeee ooooooooooooo”. It reverberated nicely, especially the … Read the rest...

A Tall Ship Tale #13: Duck Soup

The next from the collection by Paul de Anguera.

“Now, where can we get tinned duck?” the First Mate asked Quid cannily. They were hurrying around the Constantinople bazaar in what had suddenly become an urgent supply mission, thanks to a deal between the Harbor Master and a loan shark to which the H.M.S. Legume had somehow become a party. “And oil — where can we get that?” he added to the Captain wickedly. Captain Quid pointed at a ceramics … Read the rest...

A Tall Ship Tale #12: Fright of Passage

The saga by Paul De Anguera continues.

As the sun set over the Black Sea, the H.M.S. Legume entered the harbor of Constantinople, capital of the Automen Empire. It was a commercial empire, as the crew could see from the surrounding ships. There were arms dealers like General Mortars, jewelry hawkers like Constantine Opal, and sleazy advertisers like Cry Slur. And they were all having sails. The Harbor Master came out to meet the frigate in a barge whose unsexed … Read the rest...

Poetic Justice

Another tale by Chris Cole

Little Fosworth was an unusual lad, in that he absolutely LOVED poetry. He even tried as much as possible to speak in verse. When people made fun of him, he took the opposite viewpoint, rhyming as he went, making sure others knew that for him, answering in rhyme was simply the con-verse. (As you can see, the little chap was a bit of a punster as well!) Anyway, just the other day a pair of … Read the rest...

Ranch Style Beans

Another lame offering by Alan B. Combs

The Russian premier is visiting with our President this week. They have been showing him the country pleasures of Crawford, TX, and the undeniable excellence of Texas cuisine.

While developing the food menu, however, the planners were a little worried about whether they should serve Ranch Style (boracho) beans at the meal. After all, he was already Putin.… Read the rest...

Hidden Bones

This tale going where no man has gone before is by Howell H. Gwin, Jr.

Long time ago, Wm Shatner and DeForest Kelley went camping in Northern California. Shatner was an old hand, but Kelley was a real tenderfoot. After camp was set up, Shatner went fishing and when he came back, Kelley was gone. Took them almost a week to find them because…..


Film Noir

A celluloid tale by rosecatt

A long time ago (in 1972, I believe it was) Marlon Brando was hard at work creating his exquisite performance as Don Corleone in that timeless hit film ‘The Godfather’. This role was to become his greatest achievement since ‘On the Waterfront’, and Brando was completely immersed in it, being one of the first major stars to embrace what is called Method Acting.

As filming progressed, he insisted that his Director, Francis Ford Coppola, should … Read the rest...

Arguing friends

This is by Rose (AKA cynical innocent) on alt.callahans. Thanks, Rose.

I’m very worried about two of my friends, Wilbur and Sarah. They used to be one of the cutest couples I know; they did all the adorable stuff that cute couples do, giving each other sappy nicknames and doing everything together, never a cross word. But ever since Wilbur started taking Spanish lessons, things have been really tense between them, and I don’t really know how to defuse it.… Read the rest...


This toxicologically relevant story is by John Vinson (John The Wysard) on alt.callahans.

Some years ago, I was trying to kill off an ant nest (not fire ants, just some inconveniently located Camponotus). I was young and foolish, and didn’t follow the safety instructions… and ended up inhaling quite a bit of the insecticide dust. Yuck!

After the diarrhea, pinpoint pupils, and other immediate effects, I was groggy and disoriented, unable to focus or concentrate, for a day or … Read the rest...