All posts for the month July, 2001

Anti-Catholicism a la Feghoot (FEGHOOT II)

This is by Reginald Bretnor writing under the name of Grendel Briarton.


Soon after A Budget of Musings Afloat and Ashore, by ‘An Old Salt,’ appeared in 3412, Vice-Admiral Sir Trumpery Buckett invited Ferdinand Feghoot to visit the 18th Century and meet Madame Pompadour. Though his manner seemed odd, Feghoot accepted; and they left via the )( at the Time Travellers Club.

To Feghoot’s surprise, they emerged not in France, but on a dark London street where a mob was … Read the rest...

A Good Sign

By “Louis Strauss” [albinofred@hotmail.com]


I’ve recently been taking an American Sign Language Course. The other day, the teacher was telling us how over the past 100 years or so, the language has evolved. It was then that I realized that indeed, the signs they are a’ changing.… Read the rest...

It’s All In The Delivery

Alice Collins reminds us of this shaggy old tale, “My father’s 85 years old, and I heard this from him. No idea where he heard it.”


A man walks into a bar one evening, and this is the first time he’s been in this particular bar. As he sits at the counter drinking, suddenly he hears someone call out, “Number 35.” And everybody in the bar bursts out laughing. A little later, someone else calls out, “Number 47.” Again everybody … Read the rest...

Groaners in the Comics

This shaggy tale is modified from a Frank and Ernest cartoon by former punster of the year, Bob Thaves. It also was posted to the groaners list serv.


Ernest: What are you doing, Frank?

Frank: I’m making a list of famous city songs, like “New York, New York”, “Chicago”, “San Francisco”, “St. Louis”, “Oswego”.

Ernest: Oswego? There’s a song about Oswego?

Frank: You never heard “Oswego Into the Wild Blue Yonder?”

Ernest: Stop! I won’t listen to anymore.

Frank: Not … Read the rest...

The Wages Of Procrastination Are Puns

This is by Anne Gwin. It is healthy, by the way, to take such moments off from serious writing.


I saw a cute guy at the grocery store today, buying herbs and laundry soap. Imagine my surprise when I later saw him chasing his runaway cart all around the parking lot. I guess it just goes to show that thyme and Tide wait for no man…… Read the rest...

At the Macintosh Meeting…

Last night was our monthly Macintosh enthusiast meeting and I provided part of the program. What I demonstrated was a voice recognition system called ViaVoice by IBM. The idea is that you speak into it and it types the text as you say it. The program is a specialist, rather than a generalist and it creates a large file of your voice and how you say words. The more you use it and train it, the better it works. I … Read the rest...

New Yogurt

This is from rosecatt who is an excellent source of these short tales.


In a new marketing strategy, a toymaker and a dairy company have joined forces to manufacture an all natural, edible modeling clay for the little ones. It’s called Yoplait-Doh.… Read the rest...

The Pie Contest

This reminder of an old-timer comes from Alice Collins [AlicefromLA@webtv.net]. She reports, “This an Art Roberts bedtime story from WLS radio back in the ’60s.”


Once upon a time in the hills of Tennessee, there was a pie-making contest. This contest was special, because it was for mothers and sons who competed in teams. The mother-son teams were judged on speed, and each team had a bell to ring when they were through.

The day of the contest came, and … Read the rest...

GOD Bless Texas — A Shaggy Tale of the Blessed Land

Sue Lemcke and a couple of others recently sent me this tale. (I am sending it to the Callihanicom listserv so that all coming to the convention can know about what to look forward.)


It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working East from there. He went to a very large church and began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden … Read the rest...

About Red Hair…

By Alan B. Combs


This tale was told to us in an organic chemistry class while I was an undergraduate in the 60s, so I cannot claim original credit for it. The lecture was about amino-acids and their structures. In passing, the prof told us that red-heads have a lot more of the amino-acid cysteine in their hair than do folks with other hair colors. Thus, he said that his fellow male graduate students called a rather virginal, aloof, red-haired … Read the rest...