All posts for the month January, 1998

Hairsute 02

Jim Morris and several others sent this one to me.


A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much … Read the rest...

Update on Tarzan

This quickie and variant on our Shaggy Dog home page’s name was submitted by RAH 33. Thank you.


Is tarzan still alive?

Yes. He sits in a glade in the jungle, and spends all day painting white stripes on black zebras and black stripes on white zebras.

Tarzan stripes, forever!… Read the rest...

Dukeing out America

Here is another one from Steve Poge.


A show business museum in Hollywood is presenting an exhibit on the career of the late and great actor John Wayne. One of the featured items is a pair of brownish-colored gravestones bearing his name, date of birth, and the titles of his most memorable movies. The museum has decided to call the exhibit, “The Amber Graves of Wayne”.… Read the rest...

Scriptural

This contribution comes from the incomparable John Barnstead.


Barnstead always takes a volume of German poetry along with him on the hour and a half long ride from Halifax to Wolfville, while Pernicious (John¼s cat, or the other way around) prefers a volume of Zen. Barnstead usually gets mad when Pernicious starts pestering him for a neck scritching, his slim volume already finished by the time they reach Windsor, while Barnstead is less than half way through his book. But … Read the rest...

Scaled InsPUNration

Submutted (his term) by Stan Kegel:


WARNING: Unless you are an ardent fan of puns, skip this joke without reading it. It would be a complete waste of your time to read it. Proceed at your own risk.

A controversy is raging this morning in the French Academy of Science between factions of zoologists and paleontologists. The argument centers on the identification of a fossil skull found by student naturalists doing field work near the northern French village of D’Eau-Remy. … Read the rest...

For the Birds?

This is a contribution from Chris Cole, who says, “…another original creation…..yeah, I can’t pass the blame on to anyone else….I’m stuck with it!”


Once upon a time (well, more than once, actually, …a number of times) the Carrier Pigeon Employees Union held an Iron Bird competition to honor the toughest, most dedicated specimen of avian delivery in the State of (where else?) California.

Only two birds made it into the final round, where each carrier pigeon had to carry … Read the rest...

Deaf Mule

This is from BevJoe (McGuire), no blarney.


An Irishman named O’Leary, who loved to sing as he worked, bought a mule to farm his garden. The mule worked well, but was almost totally deaf. So, when his owner yelled, “Whoa!”, the animal often continued plowing. Asked how the mule was working out, O’Leary shook his head. “There was a time,” he said, “when all that the neighbors could hear was me singing my lilting melodies. Lately, I’m afraid, they’ve heard … Read the rest...

Corny Cobb

I received this one from Gary Hallock. It’s new, it’s new to me, anyway (as Gary says, that’s nearly the same thing).


I’m probably gonna show my ignorance here but then I never claimed to have anything like the intimate relationship with shaggies that Alan Combs has. From sources outside of PUNY I recently received a large batch of jokes, etc., including a few shaggies I’d not seen before (very rare) I wonder if someone out there is actually producing … Read the rest...

Tim Allen meets Shakespeare

by Alan B. Combs


It’s funny how these things come to me. I was watching Tim Allen’s TV show the other night. We all know how he gets off on implements and tools. I easily could imagine him building a marvelous tool shed in the back yard, a tool shed that is the primary attraction and center of attention when looking out through the large bay window in his living room.

Then, I can see him standing in the living … Read the rest...

So good, so phar, oh!

This one is an appropriate followup to the passover pun by Stan Kegel. It was posted on P.U.N.Y. by GBenmoshe.


It happened that young Prince Moses caught the young Pharoah peering through a hidden hole in the wall. He was looking into what would be his own harem, one day.

Moses told the Egyptian, “Let my PEEP HOLE GO!”… Read the rest...